I immediately felt a connection with her - know the feeling, but then saw a reply - someone who said; "I have devoted myself to nursing, and i judge other women who choose to bottle feed."
Now, i should say that before i had Chewie and Artoo - i felt all smug in my belief that breast is best. And to this day - i still believe that breastfeeding IS the best option. IF it's an option. In my case it wasn't. But it wasn't like we didn't try... and we tried so hard... when Artoo was in NICU i locked myself in a dark room every 2 hours, attached to that god-awful big yellow breast pump... just trying to get anything to happen.... when i did start producing milk it was a huge victory! I was able to supply my tiny infant with enough milk to sustain him while he was in the hospital... which, for the record, was forty days. When we finally did bring him home, i would spend my nights feeding Artoo a bottle, getting him back to sleep, then pumping.... try to get back to sleep - only to wake up 30 minutes later to feed Artoo his next bottle... i was stressed out, i was exhausted... it's no surprise the well dried up.
And for the record? I felt HUGE amounts guilt. I felt horrible that my body stopped producing, i felt terrible that i couldn't keep a baby in for 9 months, then on top of that i couldn't feed him.... things that are supposed to come naturally to women... i just couldn't seem to do.
I know a few girlfriends who are going through similar things right now - babies who wouldn't or couldn't or still can't nurse or even bottle feed.
God. I used to think that religious folks were the judgiest ones out there, but i stand corrected. Self-righteous-holier-than-thou-everything-is-organic-and-i-nurse-my-babies-until-they-were-8-and-we-never-have-the-tv-on-and-own-only-wooden-freetrade-non-plastic-toys-and-cloth-diaper-promoting-mommy-bitches....are the worst.
HEY LADIES!! GET OVER YOUR FUCKING SELVES!!
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but you are not entitled to push your agenda on my any more than the Mormon Missionaries who keep trying to get me to come back to church! (dudes, it's been like 15 years, give it a rest).
Don't think that i don't see the way you look at me with distaste when i feed my baby...not only from a bottle (GASP) but with formula (DOUBLE GASP!)
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| sometimes its NOT a choice |
So, when i hear or see someone admit that they judge me based on my ability or seemingly lack of desire to nurse my child, it throws me into a bit of a rage.
How dare you?
You don't know anything about me, or how hard it was to give up trying... but i have a healthy baby who is absolutely one of the brightest parts of my day... and he knows that i love him more than anything and that i did everything i could, and still am, to make sure that he is safe and loved and growing.
6 people love me:
So true. SO TRUE.
The note "sometimes its NOT a choice" made me burst into tears.
Abso-frackin'-lutely! My wife wasn't able to produce even as much as you did for our daughter, and rather than let her starve to death, we switched to (gasp!) formula pretty early on. The judgemental looks and comments some people give are just disgusting.
And as for the Organic-everything-etc folks, all I can say is that it must be nice to have so much money that those options are open. Because for so many of us on modest incomes, it ain't. Period. You do the best you can, but that's it.
I could rant about the judgements of the self-righteous parent ALL f'king day. Have opinions. Keep them (and the associated noises and facial expressions) to yourself.
Also, I think the Mormons are sweet but misguided. They're still looking for me too.
Don't ever let women like that get under your skin or judge you!! ever!!. Its hard when someone attacks your parenting style not to get royally pissed but trust me their moment will come. One day the perfect bubble will burst and lets hope they judge themselves just as harshly as they do the rest of the world.
Your a fabulous mama, you did try and as long as a mother is willing to try her best for her baby whether it is breast or bottle the important thing is it is done with LOVE!!.
Im on the flip side of the judgement coin I am still breast feeding mine and she is 15 months. I had planned on weaning but we are making a move all the way across the freakin country and I want her to know she still safe and secure so I am allowing her to feed until we get ourselves settled in to our new life.
I was told outright by a close family member "shes to old to be breastfeeding, Your going to turn into that crazy lady who breastfeeds her 8 year old, when I see you next Im going to give her chocolate milk". I also had a c*nty coworker say "your still breastfeeding, wow that will be fun when her teeth come in".
Add that to the recurring comedies (I can count 3 off the top of my head) with the toddlers breastfeeding and the disgust everyone has on these shows and it gets a bit annoying.
But as Mothers only we know what is best for our babies so I say f*ck the judgey granola moms and in my case the single women with no clue!!.
If women would support each other more and try to help each other instead of turning everything into a bullsh*t high school style competition the world would be a much better place.
We didnt breast-feed mini-me.... my wife just didnt want to.
We got comments from time to time but fuck 'em. No matter what the reason, how you rear your precious little one is your own business...
Amen!
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