Jimmy Choo For YOOO!

So today is JennyMac's BlogBirthday! She writes over at "Let's Have a Cocktail" and i've been reading her for several months now, she always has a good story or a hilarious anecdote...

To celebrate, she's hosting a GIVEAWAY on her blog - and what she's giving away is OHMYGOD-DROOOOL... a Beautiful Chocolate Brown Jimmy Choo handbag!!


I know!! i almost choked on my coffee with excitement this morning... look at it's fabulousness...

this may be the closest i'll ever be to owning Jimmy Choo anything!

Anyway! This bag could be yours!! (but i really hope it's mine)

Head over to her GIVEAWAY post and follow the instructions to Jimmy Choo Freedom!!

ONWARD!!

Dialogue

This is a response to the weekly writing challenge at {W}Rite of Passage:

"Good dialogue is such a pleasure to come across while reading, a complete change of pace from description and exposition and all that writing." - page 64 Bird by Bird

Today post a dialog between characters, real or otherwise.

"are you going to eat that?"
"What, this bagel?"
"yeah,"
"..this bagel right here? the one on my plate?"
"Yeah. Are you going to eat it?"
"Didn't you just see me pull this out of the toaster, like, 3 seconds ago?"
"look, it's a simple question. If you ARE going to eat it, then just say so. If you're not - then i'll take it. That's all i'm saying."
"...sigh..."
"...what!?"
"look, Lawrence, I'm really glad that you've been able to stay here and get back on your feet and all - but don't you think it's time you found a new place to stay? I mean, it's been almost eight weeks already. "
"C'mon, Jen! Ellen broke my heart! I'm a wounded man!"
"i know, but don't you think you could at least LOOK for another apartment? Maybe find a job?"
"HEY! I am not working some low level entry position. I was management, Jen! MANAGEMENT. And those fucking douchebags took 10 years of my life, my loyalty, my commitment - and at the first sign of trouble they dumped me. Just like Ellen. The only difference is THEY didn't take half of everything I own."
"Look, I'm just saying that even a lower paying job is better than a no paying job."
"That's easy for YOU to say, you still have a job, you're still successful."
"Lawrence... sigh.... you need to listen to me. I love you, you're my brother. But i'm not going to just let you stay on my couch indefinitely. You need to have a game plan. I need to know that there's an end to this. You KNOW that i'll always be here for you, but at some point you have to get up off your ass and try again. Okay? Please?"
"Fine. I'll call my friend over at United and tell him i'll take that position. But can i look for an apartment tomorrow? There's only so much soul crushing despair i can take in a day."
"Sure. You'll see, Lawrence, it'll get better. It can only get better."
"whatever you say, sis. ....so... are you going to eat that or what?"
"Here! Enjoy."
"Thanks. i love you."
"I know."

Here's who else is up to the challenge:

The CDN/USA Sock Footed Phenomenon

I was perusing the nominees for Schmutzie's 2010 Canadian Weblog Awards and came across the blog "We Move to Canada" which is the blog about Americans moving to Canada (naturally) - and while perusing the FAQs i was reminded of one incredible difference between Americans and Canadians...

Americans wear their shoes...indoors.
and conversely - Canadians take their shoes off when they come inside.

WEIRD!!

I mean, i guess i knew about this - but you forget when you're not thinking about it.

But now that i'm Going to Boston in May - I realize that this will be the FIRST time that i spend any time in the U.S.A. where i'm not visiting Canadian relatives who KNOW about the removal of shoes thing, they understand it, who knows - maybe they long to take their shoes off at the door too...

I don't want to look a fool. eep!

The more i think about this subtle/yet glaring difference between our two cultures, the more i start to wonder:

Do Americans wear Fancy Socks?



Do Fancy Socks sell well in the States?



Or do they have a bigger market in Canada?



Why would Americans buy fancy socks anyway, who would ever see them?



In Canada, when you host a gathering or a dinner party, or what have you - the front door becomes this gauntlet that one must negotiate when entering the home... you have to sort of dance and shimmy and LEAP over the mountain of shoes to find a piece of bare floor to remove their OWN shoes. Good times. In fact, Canadians will take off their shoes unless EXPLICITLY TOLD to leave our shoes on and even then, we'll be self-conscious about the mess we're making in your home...

Then, it becomes an inadvertent Sock Fashion show. And i have been to dinner parties where i may or may not have been judged by my socks... the hostess swears i wasn't being judged, but i felt it... my socks - were WHITE!!! The only people in the whole party wearing white socks were B-rad and i. Everyone else was wearing Fancy socks. (By fancy socks, i should clarify that it means - not white, or patterned, or ...fancy.... not purchased in a bag from the underpants aisle in WalMart)

Y'know, come to think of it - this is soooo ingrained into me that i even do it in Hotels! Walk in the door, take off shoes. It's habit!

I don't know WHY it is that Canadians do this, maybe we do it because of all the snow, but i do recall thinking one time while watching Television that Americans must be washing/mopping/sweeping/polishing/vacuuming their floors ALL THE FRAKKIN TIME! Maybe this explains the amount of Swiffer commercials where the children go trampling through the house leaving a disaster behind them, and the mom just shrugs her shoulders and gets out the trusty SWIFFER SWEEPER!

Let me tell you, if this same scene had played out in my house growing up, there would have been screaming and mom would have threatened to get out the wooden spoon!! (to be used on our backsides!! ouch)

Like the majority of Canadians, we watch American Television - and like a lot of Canadians, growing up i assumed that people left their shoes on because it was TV. Nope. They leave their shoes on because they're American...

I guess this also explains Galoshes...




i always thought that Galoshes were the stupidest invention on the planet, cuz why cover up your shoes - you're just going to take them off when you walk in the door. No so, if you're American. This makes sense now, you don't want your shoes to get all mucky and dirty because you'll be wearing them for the rest of the day. Hm. Interesting.

Also, this explains that scene in the Sex and the City movie where Carrie's salivating over her big SHOE closet. And everytime i see shows where they take you through celebrity houses - there's always that HUGE shoe Closet just off the master suite. Makes sense, i suppose. Because you take your shoes off at night, and put them on in the morning before leaving the room.

This is Christina Aguilera's Closet! [via]

In Canada, it would be weird to see a big master bedroom Shoe Closet. They'd be close to the door somewhere.

In my case, all our shoes are crammed into the shoe rack by the front door and the over flow are shoved into the hall closet... don't open it, it's booby trapped.

This American Shoe thing also explains a lot of stupid country songs... like Shania Twirp's "Who's Bed have your Boots been Under?" because it would make sense that if you're doing the nasty in someone's bed, that'd be where you take your boots off...- in the past, in my teens, i remember thinking: "Why would his boots be under the bed? That makes no sense. Stupid cowboy" (No offense to any REAL cowboys out there)

And that other country song with lyrics like; "Kick off your boots, and let your hair down... givin' me that feeling that you might wanna mess around"... okay, so in my naivete i imagined them coming in and lounging on the couch.

Now that i think of it... if you're American and you're in the bedrrom and the girl is 'kickin' off her boots...and letting her hair down... is this a sure fire sign that she's getting ready to bump and grind?? Cuz when else would a person take their shoes off?

And what about showering, when they come out of the shower before bed, do they put shoes back on? are Americans ever bare or sock footed??

So many questions.

Why i'm Going to Boston...

It’s Official.

I’m going to Boston.

Why? Well, why not?

Okay, okay, so the real reason I’m going is for something very exciting to me. I’m going to Whitinsville, Massachusetts to become a certified Zentangle instructor.

A what?

Ooh, so pretty! All zentangles done by yours truly.

A Zentangle Instructor!

My coworker Kathy (HI Kathy!!) introduced me to Zentangle around Christmastime, and it's right up my alley.

The way that i've been describing it lately has been a sort of combination of Doodling and Meditation. But there's more to it than that.

This one was a collaboration - Chewie and I made this together! Fun times.

Those of you who've been around for a while remember this post back in November when i broke down and told you all about my issues with anxiety. Good frakkin' times. Anyway, since that post i have been going to see Dr. Sharon when i need to be grounded, and B-rad has been awesome and *checking in* to see how i'm really doing.


I took a Meditation workshop with a friend of mine (HI SHANANA!) and it was awesome. I really found some peace while i was there, and have used the tools i learned - and those tools have helped me come down from a dangerous anxiety high from time to time.

Which brings me to Zentangle.


Their slogan is "One Stroke at a Time" which is really very zen. When working on a zentangle, you really have to do it one pen stroke at a time, which helps keep you in the moment and really relieves stress. I have seen a noticeable difference in my stress levels since i have been zentangling on a regular basis.


Over the christmas holidays i immersed myself in all things zentangle that i could. I went to the website and devoured all their back issues of the newsletter, i found Sandy's blog BEEZ in the Belfry and devoured that too.

"But isn't it just doodling" "Can't you do teach it without being certified?"
To quote Sandy's answer to this question in her comments:

Yes! You can teach Zentangle without being certified. The point of the workshop is to learn all the foundations, the basics, the tips and mistakes to avoid... all that, from the originators. You learn the process of how it came about and the point of it all. If you do want to teach it, it really does help to learn this stuff. I mentioned in an older post that any one can do Zentangle inspired artwork and make it their own. But "Zentangle", the method or process, was designed with particular steps to accomplish a particular goal - and for that, you need instruction of some kind. Does that make sense?

So that sealed it for me... and after discussing it with B-rad on several occasions, i sent in my registration for their Certified Instructor seminar in May.

As much as i don't like to admit it, i am turning 30 in May. Yes, i know, i don't read a day over 25, but it's true.

I've decided that this trip (which will take place the week after my 30th birthday) will be my present to myself. The seminar which starts on a tuesday and ends on a friday will also be the PERFECT reason to head over to the nearby town to meet the very fabulous Teeni (of Vaguetarian Tea Room fame) and her Hubby TGH who have so very generously offered their services as Boston tour guides for the Friday night and all day Saturday and part of Sunday before i fly back home...

There may have also been talk of Margaritas and Buffalo Wings. Both things of which i am VERY pro!

I'm not really sure exactly what avenue i want to pursue with zentangling once it's all said and done. In the grand scheme of things, i think i'd like to work towards doing Goal Oriented staff retreats, and working with little kids in the school system.

Who knows? It seems like there are many types of applications for this, and if absolutely nothing else, there is a place for zentangle in my life as an anxiety reducing tool, which i totally need.

And also?? Boston! in May!! How cool is that?

a pretty sweet convo with my lil' bro

Sometimes my little bro is quite funny - here's a text convo we had yesterday while planning our parenty-type outing today....

L: What are you guys doing tomorrow afternoon? Wanna go parent/tot swimming at noon?
W: Yeah, we're down
L: Sweet
W: Who's all going swimming?
L: Me, Chewie and you three?
W: No B-rad?
L: B-rad? who ees thees B-rad you speek ov?
W: Apparently some father figure that i had imagined in a high daze
L: Yes, exactly, he's working in [SMALLSKATCHHAMLET]
W: O right. He's still helping his parents.
L: Yeah, lame. Pshaw.
W: Yeah, I'll warn you now i'll prolly be a lil tired tomorrow.
L: What are you doing tonight?
W: Nuthin, but i got [Muey] Thai from 10-11 tomorrow morning
L: Really? God for you!
W: God for me? I getta god?
L: Yes a mini one. Maybe Vishnu?
W: I was thinkin odin or loki personally. Always been a fan of norse gos myself
L: Norse Gos? Norse Gos where?
W: Gos i meant Gods but they can gos to my house to party.
L: Yes!
W: that would be a sweet party, and cuz they're norse you know there would be a lotta sweet beards
L: so many Sweet Beards & battle axes.
W: Yes a great party indeed.

Tegan & Sara Review

So, before we get into this post - there's a new Review up at my Review Blog... on the Neutragena Wave. Go read it. we'll wait for you.


...


OKAY! Welcome back! Wasn't that HILARIOUS!?

This week i went to see Tegan & Sara. This concert was way different than the one i went to last time they came

First off, the concert was bigger and was being held at the "Thee-ah-tah", y'know with seats and dimmed lights and all that jazz. My friend and i were seated in the fourth row of the first balcony, pretty good seats, all said.

The opening band was "An Horse" who were pretty good. I'm thinking about looking into their album.

So, finally the moment arrived: Tegan and Sara were about to hit the stage. Where i was sitting, i had a really good view of the floor. In the first song, 3 girls in the front row stood up and started dancing. Within seconds, another girl a few seats away stood up and danced her way over... as the song wore on, i saw people starting to fill the winglike walkways of the main floor... people in rows 2 and 3 began standing up because they couldn't see over the 4 dancing girls... then - and it was totally weird and i'll never forget it as long as i live, as if the entire main floor had one mind, they all stood up and rushed the stage. Climbing over seats, piling into the first few rows... it was weird.

anyway, So after the song Tegan says to the crowd (paraphrasing of course) "Okay, i'm going to make you a deal - you guys can stay where you are as long as you promise that you stop flashing your boobs, you don't bang on the stage, no one falls down, and no one gets hurt, okay?" Anyway - when Tegan & Sara have to tell the audience THREE TIMES to stop flashing their boobs,... you should stop fucking flashing your boobs already!
(I wrote a review for the ticketmaster website, but it got taken off, probably cuz i said Boobs - i didn't say fuck, though, i save that for you <3)

Now, T&S are good musicians, and i love their tunes, but real fans know that one of the reasons to see them live is for the hilarious banter. This time? there was hardly any of the banter because every time one of them would speak or try to tell a story - someone from the audience would scream something unintelligible.

At one point Sara was like: "You guys know you're not at a hockey game, right?"
I can hardly blame them for not doing as much story telling and banter as they usually do, i can't imagine how distracting those screaming morons would be... they were distracting ME and i wasn't even on stage.

My friend, Lexi, said to me: "It's like their teachers in elementary school!" and about five minutes later Sara said; "y'know, sometimes we aren't just musicians, but we have to be teachers and policemen too"

The crowd kept screaming out titles of songs they wanted to hear. Eventually Tegan just told us all what the set list would be, saying "yeah, we're going to play all those songs, just not right now." Like, way to take the fun out of it, little groupie lesbians!*

Also, one time while Sara was telling a story, Tegan suddenly put her guitar down on the floor, walked up to the stage and 'had words' with the front row... Sara was all like: "Wow, Tegan is MAD"

Anyway, the stupid audience aside - the show was really good. They played a lot of stuff from their new album Sainthood which i hadn't heard before - but i loved all the tunes instantly - and that almost never happens when i go to a show and hear the 'New Stuff'. I bought the album on vinyl (NERRRRRD) and B-rad and i listened to it last night. It just is so catch and a little edgy and you can hear the maturity in the sound. Y'know? like, this is their sixth album - they've come a long way from This Business of Art.

The songs are short - and they average about 3 minutes. Some times it feels like they're just getting started into a really good groove and then the song is over, but this probably stems from my love of prog rock where the average song is about 6 or 7 minutes long. Actually, as b-rad pointed out last night, the last two tracks on the album starting with "Sentimental Tune" feels like it's building and building up and could run right into "Someday" and be one long song. The tempo, the key, the feel is similar. anyway.

"SENTIMENTAL TUNE"



"SOMEDAY"


What do you think?

This may be my new favourite album, or at least its up there with So Jealous

The girls were great, the drummer kicks ass, the bass player is calm under pressure - given the circumstances it was a pretty good show. Just kick out those morons from the front row and it would have been perfect.

*I'm only guessing that it was lesbians flashing their boobs at Tegan and Sara. I think it's a pretty accurate assumption, but i just wanted to point out that i don't actually know.

Happy Thirtieth Birthday B-rad!

In honour of my super sexy husband B-rad's thirtieth revolution around the sun today, here is a list of 30 awesome things --> B-rad related:

1. Your parents did it, that one time 30 years and 9 months ago. Yeah, no one likes to think of their parents doing the mattress mambo, but because they did - i have you. So thanks In-Laws!

2. That photo of you, when you were just a wee little gaffer with white blond hair and a full leg cast - in a jammie top and shark gitchies? So cute.

3. Our first kiss - that awkward fifteen-year-old who kissed me in my back yard, standing on his very tippy toes while sitting on his bike - i still remember it so well. Especially the part where you toppled over, bike and all, right into me. We got better, and even when we weren't dating, i still compared every other kiss to yours.

4. Remembering the way my heart fluttered when you told me you loved me for the first time, and i knew that you really actually did. You changed my whole outlook on love and sex, and made me feel like i was worth waiting for, something no other guy has ever done.

5. Your brain! Seriously, you are so smart. I am constantly amazed at the way you think, how you're able to see things abstractly, to comprehend complex equations and to actually USE the math we all learned in high school when we declared: "Yeah, but when would i actually use this stuff?"

6. i think i may have said this before on my blog, but you have the greatest laugh. I think i am so attracted to your laugh, probably because you laugh out loud so seldom. You're more of a smirk or a chuckle kinda guy - so when you let it out, it's awesome.

7. I know i give you a hard time about your 'projects' around the house (like the component rack, the dvd/vinyl shelf, the festivus pole) but i am super proud of you for those things. To be able to conceive an idea, draw it out, plan it, build it, and have it be excellent is so amazing. Plus, you light up when you talk about your *ideas*... so just ignore me when i roll my eyes and know that i think you're ama-za-zing.

8. Remember that time in Europe... in the Train... you know what i'm talking about...

9. When you play guitar you are so....sooo sexy....


10. i even love our love!

11. Countless inside jokes. "lookit all my little miracles" ...thunk....

12. I will forever be in awe and be jealous of your ability to "chat" with other people. In situations where i find myself feeling like i'm socially incompetent, you are able to mingle and get to know people at a quicker pace.

13. You have the softest, most kissable lips... and sometimes when i quick 'hi there' kiss gets out of control and when we finally come up for air and you say "What was that all about", it's not my fault...it's like your lips beg me to keep kissing them.

14. You are this interesting combination of open minded and skeptic. Of hippy/spiritualist and consumer/realist. I love that. You keep me grounded when i start to float away. ;)

15. You don't know how many times you saved me.

16. When we were dating, i used to say: "He's going to make an awesome dad someday"... and now i'm privileged to say I KNEW IT!!

17. You take your family duties very seriously, and while it sometimes makes me crazy - it's far better than the alternative...

18. You always stop what you're doing when i hug you. i like that.

19. You and i have different brains, and therefore different memory systems. I generally remember the feeling of something, the general overall gist... but i'm lousy at numbers, names, math, dates, times.... YOU on the other hand can tell me when the album was released, and sometimes who produced it... you remember phone numbers, and can do equations in your head in a fraction of the time it would take me to do it... and i'd get it wrong. brainiac.

20. you make me laugh.

21. you can call me anytime.

22. You're good to my mom. Yeah, you give her a hard time at first, but you help her whenever she asks, or doesn't ask. (Even if it means adjusting the settings on her TV...again...) I love you for that.

23. When i was drowning in a sea of crazy, you held me in the freezing cold on that starry night by the river and told me you loved me - and i felt like everything could be okay again.

24. You never stopped fighting for me, even when i deliberately made it hard.

26. You taught me that I am worthy of being loved, of feeling loved, and that together we could do anything. You always believe in me, even when i don't.

27. you gave me our son, the absolute sparkle in my life.

28. I will never forget after we said our vows and walked down the aisle, we stopped and hugged each other, and i knew i'd married my best friend.

29. You put up with me, with all my dancing in the kitchen, my attacking you crying "play with me!!", my zaniness, my IN-YOUR-FACE-itude, my dark side, my force, my jedi master, my toys, my hobbies, my singing, my fears, my joys, my hopes, my dreams, my nightmares... and you never try to run away... a lesser man would fail under such grueling marital circumstances! ;) L.O.L.

30. Best sex ever!! WIN!


I hope you have the very best birthday - enjoy your Pink Floyd Experience tonight Sucra Papa. Way to turn THIRTY!! OLD MAN!! (Don't worry, i'm right behind you...)

...one step closer...

I'm standing on this precipice looking out into a sea of unknown possibilities... there's a twinkle in my eye, there's light in my vision... all i have to do now, is leap. Leap and trust that the universe will catch me, and take me on this new adventure...

breathe.

trust.

jump.

Lunchtime FAIL

when i was a little girl i used to want to marry Chef Boyardee cuz i thought i'd never ever have to learn to cook. Seemed like a good plan when i was six.

Now, i'm married to B-rad and enjoy my Boyardee-in-a-can when i do things like forget my lasagna and mango at home. WIN!

FYI - Four Cheese Ravioli in Meat Sauce. Thank you, Chef!

After eating said meal, i come to realize that "Enjoy" may be too strong a word... "Tolerate", "Consume", "Struggle through" may be more accurate... my childhood memories have fooled me into believing the Chef had some mystical/magical culinary prowess when the reality is far from it.... le sigh. FAIL.

*also, totally non-lunch related: Letter To Chewie - 18 Months read it!!

Turn your Cute dials up to 11!

This year before 2009 came to a close, B-rad and i took our little angel demon spawn to get some family photos done.

I was able to secure the very talented services of an old friend from my churchy days, Chantelle,
who has been in town for the past couple of months. (Check out her blog, she's been challenged to post a photo a day for 2010, and her pics are fantastic!)


Anyway, Chewie has been back on the two naps a day schedule - but on the day of our photo session, i picked up the kid from daycare to find out he had only one nap that day... this did not bode well for us... as our session was set for 6:00, we had a hurried supper and ran out the door into the deep freeze of the skatch to make the country drive to Chantelle's in-laws house, where her and her adorable family have been staying.


We arrived and Chantelle was great. Chewie, on the other hand, was not so great. He screamed and cried and kicked and ran around, and climbed on things, and wanted to play with the christmas tree and generally would NOT be held for any family type shots... i can hardly believe that that child of ours was not murdered. Luckily, we were guests in someone's home, so Chewie survived. haha.


But seriously, look at those pics! (click to enlarge)

Thank you Chantelle! You made our boy look like an angel, even though he clearly wasn't.
you work miracles.

2009: A Year in Review

It's time for my annual Year in Review Meme post wherein i post the first line from the first post of each month of the previous year. And hey! I realize that sometimes i posted more than the fist line, but this is my meme, and sometimes i'm hilarious, so i'm allowed to break my own rules. Got it? okay. Ready? Here we go:

JANUARY: Dear 2008, Thanks for stopping by, but it's time for a new dawn, a new age.... welcome the Newer Improved, Younger Sexier version....2009! Fuck yah. - Love Laura

FEBRUARY: 1. marching bands

MARCH: oh god, Chewie has been fighting a high fever all day

APRIL: if i am going to be the one doing the laundry, i will purchase happy smelling laundry soap. Vanilla Lavendar makes me happy.

MAY: okay, it's Saturday and i just wanna post some fluff after that heavy post.

JUNE: i had just written about four paragraphs that involved the graphic nature of my drinking and the horrible after effects the next morning, and acidity, and bile, and the possible drinking effects of the lacking of ones gallbladder... but i don't want you to get the impression that this blog is all about puke now. In reality, it's so much more...i hope.

JULY: Happy first b-day Little Chewie!! Love you.

AUGUST: Humans are stupid, egotistical, self righteous creatures with a heightened sense of entitlement and a bad case of the God Complex who are terrified of the unknown. As a broad sweeping generalization. A SINGLE PERSON is fine, but as a species, we're pretty scary.

SEPTEMBER: Want this hat?

OCTOBER: In an effort to save my pocketbook, and also my waistline - i have a few lofty totally DO-ABLE goals for the month of October

NOVEMBER:In my long freakin' absence from the blogging world - you lovely people keep offering me posts! You're so kind, and starting soon you'll all be receiving cookies in the mail**. :D **actual cookies not included

DECEMBER: It's finally winter 'round here.