Wednesday, February 25, 2009

my apologies, my bad.

i have been doing a little housecleaning (no not in my real house, unfortunately) and i've finally been able to do something i've been meaning to do for AGES, and that is to move all my old diaryland blog posts over here to blogger. it took me most of the day. and again, i apologize to everyone who's feeders were crazy full of my old posts. my bad. Thanks to Earl who told me to change my fucking settings already. Good guy, that earl.

So that's one thing down. The next step is to make sure that all those posts are archived on my computer somewhere, and also burnt on a disc or something. I actually printed off my entire diarlyand blog when i worked at the job from hell... it was a lot of paper. lol.

i tell ya, though, if you wanna find out what kind of blogger you were, there's nothing like going through all your old archives to find out that:

a - i'm a whiney bitch who generally hates working for a living
b - 80 % of my posts say somewhere that i'm tired. Maybe i'm anemic, or maybe i'm just a big cry baby who should go to bed at a decent hour instead of blogging
c - i wrote a lot of one liner posts back then. a LOT of them. some of them are pretty good, must remember that i don't have to be so wordy sometimes and that it's entirely possible to put forth my point without excessive wordiness, just speaking to hear my own voice... ;)
d - i had a lot of awesome blog post titles that in a lot of cases were the best part of the post
e - within all that garbage, there were a few actual good bits of writing
f - i metablog, a lot. MUST STOP THAT!!! Bad Diva, Bad!
g - there were three entries on that blog alone titled "Cold Enough to Freeze your Winnebego" and i'm sure i've probably used it over here as well...

granted, i started the diaryland blog seven years ago, so i can ONLY HOPE that there has been some kind of evolution in my writing since then...

also, i rediscovered this website that lets you find out these amazing factoids:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Laura!

  1. Ancient Greeks believed earthquakes were caused by Laura fighting underground!
  2. Early thermometers were filled with Laura instead of mercury.
  3. If you put a drop of liquor on Laura, she will go mad and sting herself to death!
  4. Laura is the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives!
  5. Ostriches stick their heads in Laura not to hide but to look for water!
  6. Laura can pollinate up to six times more efficiently than the honeybee!
  7. Only one child in twenty will be born on the day predicted by Laura!
  8. About one tenth of Laura is permanently covered in ice.
  9. Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using Laura.
  10. Peanuts and Laura are beans!
I am interested in - do tell me about
Just a heads up - i'm going to be transfering all my old posts from my very old diaryland blog over to blogger over the next little while, so i apologize in advance if suddenly there are a million entries in your feed readers.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

365 Days of Grace - 14



1. My friend Muffy who constantly talks me down from my emotional ledges.
2. Witchypoo who helped me last night to get rid of my headache, and for that *other* thing... B-rad says thank you!! ;)
3. Freshly laundered sheets (Egyptian Cotton, chocolate brown 600 t.c. - a festivus gift to ourselves) and a freshly flipped mattress.
4. The weight of one too many blankets.
5. Chewie figuring out how to make different sounds, the current one being a growl - like a monster.

Join Schmutzie's battle against embitterment at Grace in Small Things

Monday, February 23, 2009

Mommies don't get sick days

as of right now, i have been battling a migraine for over 15 hours. I haven't really had one this bad since before my pregnancy, and i won't lie - i didn't miss them one bit.

It's been a tough couple of weeks over at Casa Diva. I have been on and off again sick, dealing with some weird stomach bug that caused intense cramping followed by a mad dash to the can for the past 3-4 days, accompanied by chills and a feeling that i just can't get enough sleep. Not that i'm getting much of that anyway due to Chewie deciding recently that sleeping through the night is for chumps.

Not only have i been exhausted with whatever bug i've been fighting, there was the 2 days where Chewie did nothing but barf and explode with toxic waste and then scream because he didn't understand what was going on. Every spare ounce of energy that i may have housed somewhere in my body has been spent looking after him and trying to make him feel better, which somdays required of me constant nursing so we can add sore boobs and cracked nipples onto the evergrowing shit pile that has been my life recently.

Let's not forget the added stress of a bit of personal drama in my life which i'm really trying hard not to be bothered with, as the person in question really isn't worth it at this stage in my game.

So, my house is a sty.
My personal hygiene is lacking at best.
My brain feels like my head is in labour and is having contractions, and i wouldn't be surprised if at some point later this afternoon, my noggin gives birth through my nostrils.
My heart is heavy, but i'm not going to think about that right now.
I've been trying very hard to find grace in the small things these days, but i'm coming up short - other than thanking the universe for such an amazing husband.
There have been some really fabulous developments in my friend Madge's life - the short version being that after 20 long months, she and her husband were finally reunited yesterday at the Calgary Airport and he has successfully immigrated to Canada from Algeria.
In a very short time, Chewie will be up from his afternoon nap and i'll have to put on my game face and be the happy mom who cheerfully changes his diapers and feeds him lunch and keeps him entertained, but he won't know that i am secretly counting down the minutes until he goes back to bed for his last nap of the day - and moreso counting down the minutes until the reinforcements show up in the form of B-rad.

I know that B-rad reads these posts and he thinks "You should have been [blank]ing instead of blogging while he was sleeping". That blank being any number of things, napping, tidying, cleaning, organizing, but today with the tiny chain-gang busting rocks in my head, i just need this.

Blogging, or catching up on blogs, is my little get away vacation where i don't have to leave the house, i don't have to get dressed up, and where nobody cares that i haven't showered, or that i'm wearing the same pyjama pants i've worn all week, (except of course Slyde).

at this point, i'm almost at the hallucinagenic stage where i'm praying for the Sick-Mommy fairy to come over and just do it all for me... clean my house, make supper, buy groceries, feed and clothe my child, just do everything that i am currently incapable of doing so that i can crawl into my bed and pull the covers over my head and get 12 hours of uninterupted sleep or just lie there and breathe. I'm ready for it to stop sucking.

Friday, February 20, 2009

B is for....

I was over at Melisa with One s's Blog and volunteered for this meme, cuz i have nothing sparking the creativity over here that doesn't involve baby vomit and nuclearwaste filled diapers.

Basically, you get a random letter of the alphabet assigned to you, and you write about ten things that start with that letter, things that you just adore. The loverly Melisa assigned me the letter B... so here we go, ten things i love that start with the letter B. (in no particular order)

1. Bing Crosby - The man's voice is like buttery caramel that melts on contact. He could sing me the phone book and i'd be happy. Go listen

2. Blogging - i love sitting with Fiona II on my lap and typing out my thoughts... but the real joy of blogging has come from the people i have met in real life and not-yet-in-real-life who have come to enrich my lives through this thing we call blogging.


3. Bacon - hmmmmm, oh god, my mouth is watering just THINKING about bacon. I love bacon. My favourite way to eat it is extremely crispy, like almost to the point of being burnt and inedible, and then dipped in maple syrup. if i knew how to type the sound of Homer Simpson drooling, i would... but you can imagine it. Go ahead. Imagine.


4. The Beatles - it is my opinion that you are either a Beatles fan or a Rolling Stones fan. I grew up listening to the Beatles, all the oldies stuff, and my fave song is still "All My Lovin'" but it wasn't until B-rad and i started dating that i started getting into all the late Beatles stuff, y'know - the White Album, Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band....

5. Bear Hugs - i actually have a love/hate relationship with hugs. I have no problem hugging a person if i feel that connection, if you need a hug, if I NEED a hug... but b-rad and i had this circle of friends in Cowtown who hugged constantly. They were a tad bit on the unwashed hippy side of things, lol, and they were absolutely fabulous people. Maybe they helped me with my hugging aversion, cuz i don't mind it now as much as i did before. But my most favourite thing is a big hug from my husband, i just love to be held in his arms. feels good.
6. Books - ever since i was little, i have been involved in a crazy love affair with books. It may have begun as a way of bonding with my dad who loved to read. I have books in pretty much every room in the house. there are books still in boxes from the move to the Skatch that we don't have room for. i know that i'll have to do a culling some day, but that day is not today.


7. Beer - i held out for a long time, and was a strict Rum drinker... but then B-rad and i went to Mexico... and i started drinking Corona's... and from there i moved on to Sleeman's, and Alexander Keiths, and eventually Pilsner cuz my hubby likes it. I used to drink this beer called Molson Kick, it had Guranna in it and it made me super buzzed, but they stopped making it - something about multiple heart failures?

8. Bass - god, i love a funky bass line, the fatter the bass line the better. i love the way it rumbles and in a loud enough stereo makes your heart jump, but it has to be an interesting bass line, a driving bass line.


9. Breasts - i'll be honest, i love breasts. Women are so curvy and pretty, and i can really appreciate a nice pair of breasts. i never ever thought that this would be something that i would become (a boobie buff), maybe i've seen too many bad boob jobs (in porn, naturally). i just really hate boob jobs... they're just so seldomly done in a tasteful manner. I mean, okay, i can get behind a boob job if it's done well, and it's a tasteful cup size, and it makes the woman feel a little more sexy... but when they go from an A cup to a DD, and you get those skin puckers under the boob, and they DON'T MOVE, and you can't squeeze them, and the nipples are lopsided, and they look - well, really fucking fake.... bleh. Give me a nice set of soft squishy round and curvy boobs, a real women with real tits. (They're a rarity in porn)


10. B-rad - well, y'all must have seen this one coming right? :D this man has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. He's super sexy, hella smart, great in bed, hilarious, he makes me feel beautiful even though i'm all post-pregnancy soft and squishy, he is a fabulous dad and a great husband, brother, son, son-in-law, brother-in-law.... i sometimes marvel at how lucky i am to be married to such a great dude.



anyone else wanna play? drop me a line and i'll assign you a letter!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

i've already been up for 8 hours and it's only 11 am!

Last night B-rad and i woke up to Chewie crying around 3 am. After waiting to see if he'd cry it out, we heard coughing so i went in to check on him. Poor little dude was lying there in his crib, crying, covered in puke. And not the sour-milk baby puke, but full on hard core regurgitated semi digested vomit. It made me want to cry, the poor little man. So, i called b-rad in and we took off little Chewie's jammies and tried to clean him up as best we could, and b-rad changed his bedding and got him a new blanket.

I sat with him in the rocking chair, and offered him some mom-milk, but he just lay there in my arms looking up at me with his big blue eyes and pouty lips. My heartstrings were being plucked one at a time. We sat in the chair together, he fell asleep right away, but kept waking up with fits of vomiting. i tried to bring him into our bed when my butt and legs fell asleep from the rocker, but that seemed to make it worse. I figured that he probably didn't like laying down, that it made the nausea worse.

So Chewie and I, with a little help from B-rad, got ourselves all set up in the recliner couch downstairs. I spent the entire night/morning holding him and rocking him and cleaning him up until he finally slept a bit.

He actually ate around 6:45 this morning and kept it down, and is napping happily upstairs. and now, i can't sleep. i'm going to go lay down again in a few minutes. i called around to my family to see if anyone else was showing signs of sickness, as we all went swimming yesterday as a family (for family day) and everyone appears to be fine, so i'm thinking that he probably swallowed some of the pool water and that's what was making his tummy upset.

we'll see how the rest of the day goes. .....if all goes well, we will be back on solid foods this afternoon and will be taking a bath to get the puke out of little dude's hair and ears.

motherhood.
it's beautiful.

Monday, February 09, 2009

monday meme, drinking coffee and dreaming of popcorn.

Okay, so it's Monday and i have had 2 cups of coffee, and i'm thinking about maybe having some popcorn (for breakfast??) and my brain is on permanent hiatus... i have facebooked and twittered and google readered and even though i know i should be doing something a little more productive with my freetime while Chewie naps, we have a long week of visiting and appointments starting tomorrow so i'm gonna take this time to do nuthin - so here we go, yes. a meme. i did one over on my rockstar blog too, cuz i am JUST THAT CREATIVE this morning. diggit.


The one word game - use only one word to answer all the questions et cetera, ad nauseum...

1. Where is your cell phone? coat
2. Your significant other? sexy
3. Your hair? annoying
4. Your mother? hilarious
5. Your father? hugs
6. Your favorite song? many
7. Your dream last night? interrupted
8. Your favorite drink? coffee
9. Your dream/goal? music
10. What room you are in? kitchen
11. Your hobby? varied
12. Your fear? health
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? home
14. Where were you last night? inlaws
15. Something that you aren’t? motivated
16. Muffins? delicious
17. Wish list item? cruise
18. Where you grew up? canada
19. Last thing you did? bathroom
20. What are you wearing? jammies
21. Your TV? downstairs
22. Your pets? cats
23. Friends? fabulous
24. Your life? blessed
25. Your mood? sleepy
26. Missing someone? always
27. Car? Cruiser
28. Something you’re not wearing? ballgown
29. Your favourite store? Cafts
30. Your favourite colour? brown
33. When is the last time you laughed? breakfast
34. Last time you cried? Saturday
35. Who will resend this? YOU!
36. Favourite vacation? Mexico
37. One person who emails me regularly? Haloscan
38. My favourite place to eat? downstairs

why are there only 38 questions? that seems odd, doesn't it? hm.
anyway, happy monday... onward into the week we go.

Friday, February 06, 2009

New Life Motto and Book Review

i was over at Wench's blog and was leaving a comment that went like this:
"Today is a new day, so grab it by the balls and live the shit out of it."
and after i wrote it, i thought - hey, that's fairly quotable, so i added quotes around it.... and now i'm sharing it with y'all, cuz it just may very well be my new life motto. perhaps it may even make it to my masthead someday (even though i still do believe that all the saucy brunettes of the world SHOULD unite).

So, i just wanted to share it with ya - cuz i'm on my second cup of coffee and The Squirt is napping and i am delirious with free time that i should be using to clean my kitchen. :D

Also, i have decided to lend my reviewing prowess to the wonderful folks over at The Book Nook
and have successfully written my very first book review! Check it out, it's of my very favouritest book of all time. You should read the review, and then the book!

Happy friday.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

365 Days of Grace - 13

i know i don't need to actually tell you cuz you all have my rockstar blog in your feeders, (right?) but i've posted over there. Today is Chewie's seventh-month-on-the-planet anniversary. You can read about it here, and for your convenience i have also added a list of links on the left on my sidebar with all his by the month letters. Go on, have a look. i'll wait.





1. While making blueberry puree i discovered that blueberries are a great shade of blood red when first pureed, and as they dry they turn into a lovely violet (all over my walls and dishtowels, thank you stupid blender) and then end with a deep indigo as it completely oxidizes. In the midst of all the cleaning, i got quite a colourful show.

2. I'm thankful for a job and a country that will allow me to stay home with my baby. I will always cherish these days, yes, even the poopy diapers.

3. a friend who gracefully takes all my bitching and moaning, and then tell me that i'm a good friend for carrying the burden of anger for her. love you.

4. being comfortable enough for us both to be laughing while making love.

5. watching my husband and my son bond. i am blessed.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

365 Days of Grace - 12



1. marching bands
2. the smell of a brand new book
3. the sound of the coffee maker nearing the end of it's run
4. falling in love with the same man over and over again for ten years and counting.
5. that really big granulated sugar that is used in baking
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