'Tis the Season - A Rant

Christmas Songs.

When i was a kid, growing up, one of my favourite parts about the oncoming holiday season was when the Christmas songs would start being played on the radio. In church, they'd start throwing in a christmasy type hymn somewhere near the end of November, just to get us all started... my mom and i would join the Christmas choir... and the house would be filled with the sweet sounds of Bing Crosby's White Christmas, or Burl Ives' Holly Jolly Christmas.

There is a certain air of innocence in Christmas music. Like, its one of the only pure things left in the world, and when you and your family spontaneously break into Joy to the World while icing Sugar Cookies, well - that's just a little piece of holiday magic.*

Then some jerk has to go and ruin it.
I submit exhibit A: Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas - sung by the uber talented Judy Garland:



absolutely beautiful and sweet.

and now: Christina Aguilera singing the same song.


Does anyone feel kinda dirty after listening to this version? to me, it feels like watching the strippers give a lap dance while sitting next to my grandma.

WHY must everything be sexualized, i ask you?? Christmas music should, in my opinion, be exempt from gyration, overly husky breathing, and general sexypantsization.

In the case of Ms Aguilera - okay, we get it. You've got some pipes. You can sing loud, and you can sing high, and you're fairly adept at yodeling. You've made your career out of it. But i tell you this, i would be far more impressed if you could tone it down for once.

Exhibit B:
Oh Holy Night, sung by cuteypants Josh Groban:



and then, again, the same song... by Mariah Carey



Again, i'm aware that Ms Carey can sing. She's not my personal fave, but i admit she has some chops. However, is Oh Holy Night really the place to be showcasing that? (incidentally, Oh Holy Night is my favourite Christmas song of all time)

Exhibit C:
What Child is This - Sung by Sarah McLachlan



Nice, huh? And now...

Jessica Simpson



I apologize for that last one, i think my ears may actually be bleeding.

I guess the traditionalist in me just wants my christmas music to be TRADITIONAL, and leave the heavy breathing for some other song.

Maybe next they'll start recording children's albums....

Jessica Simpson sings: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in her Daisy Dukes.... or Britney Spears sings: The Itsy Bitsy Spider while motorboating your dad...

Also:
I submit for your attention - a list of other Christmas songs that can fall into a black hole and die a long, slow, miserable death:

1. Grandma got run over by a reindeer
2. The 12 days of Christmas**
3. I wanna Hippopotamus for Christmas
4. Six White Boomers
5. any song sung by meowing cats or barking dogs
6. Marshmellow World
7. Jessica Simpson
8. Where are you Christmas?
9. Santa Baby, the Madonna Version (via Xtine)
10. (All I Want For Christmas is my) Two Front Teeth (via Xtine)
11. The Little Drummer Boy
12. Do They Know its Christmas After All
13. Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time. (via The Kitchen Witch)
14. Feliz Navidad (via The Kitchen Witch)


Also, i've just decided to make a list of AWESOME Christmas songs, just so we don't dwell on the negative. Songs that should annoy me, but oddly don't?
1. Snoopy vs The Red Baron - Christmas Bells
2. Bob and Doug McKenzie's 12 Days of Christmas (must be the Canadian in me... pass the back Bacon)
3. All I want For Christmas is You (i know, i know... i can't help it, it's so catchy)
4. Santa Baby
5. Anything from the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack

6. Muppets 12 Days of Christmas (via Xtine)
7. The Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth - Bing Crosby and David Bowie
8. Elf's Lament (via Josh)
9. Father Christmas (via Earl)
10. Fairy Tale of New York (Xmas Song)
11. O Night Divine (via Fourleafclover)
12. Joni Mitchell's "river" by Sarah McLachlan (via The Kitchen Witch)
13. Rockapella doing "Silver Bells" (via Josh)
[your fave...right here!!]

Feel free to add your two cents... which songs could you do without?? Which songs do you love despite your better judgement??


*all my personal feelings about religion aside, i just love christmas music
** except for Bob and Doug's version, naturally... also The Muppets 12 Days of Christmas... Ba-Dum Bum Bum... (via Xtine)