Guest Post - Wench is on the Wire

another bloggy buddy coming to the rescue. Love.

----------

Hello there diva worshippers. Most people call me wench, and I thought I'd give la diva a day's grace to meditate on the oneness of the universe ;) I'm sure that many of us are all to aware of the difficulties with weight - whether we are trying to lose it or gain it, it always seems to be more or less than we wish it would be. For myself I have spent uncounted hours counting carbs, fats, weighing food, reading self help guides, doing cleanses, avoiding particular food groups and going to meetings where I never felt anything but demeaned. I've been overweight since after my first child with a span of about 6 years in my late 20s early 30s where I was all hotness which then evaporated into a fast 40 pounds in one year. In the following 15 years I only found myself winning the battle of the bulge for about 6 months and then I put my back out and c'est la vie. Those fat molecules were attracted to me like iron filings on a super magnetized horseshoe iron. It seemed like overnight and poof! It was back to humongous once again.

Having failed so miserably so many times - or been successful and then allwing the extra flesh to pad my curvy bits I am looking for the CAUSE of the extra tonnage. It's not sugar, I eat very little white - pasta rice potatoes bread. I do love the gravy and white sauce and curry though. Lots of salad and very little process food. Love my beer. However, I determined in August that my biggest hurdle was my own mindset.

I eat for comfort, to celebrate, socially, for the flavour, when I'm upset or angry... I have learned to ignore the extra pounds attaching themselves to my ass - until I need to by new pants and then I rationalize it as "They" are making the sizes smaller. Which they do, but not that quickly. I stay large because then no one WILL ask me out and I won't have to deal with all that heart risk once again - other women don't consider me a threat and men consider me as a friend - only. People like me this way ... you see where I'm going with this.

Fat = Safe.

Except for the possibilities of heart disease and cholesterol problems, blood pressure and arthritis. I'm a type 2 diabetic (with it very good control so not to worry) but that extra weight just means that I'm killing myself slowly. Hmmmm - was that what my subconscious was doing?

So for 5 and a half weeks I have been on a 1500 calorie a day diet - and I'm winning. Yes it's tough BUT I eat 4 or 5 times a day - small meals - yogurt, lots of veggies reduced portions of meat and fat - no junk food/fast food, but high fibre and legumes and soup. It's a relatively varied diet with a limit of 1 cup of food per meal except fresh veggies - those I allow myself to my heart's content. Lots of tomatoes and red peppers, nuts and dried fruit in small quantities and if I get a real chocolate craving I buy myself one of those single serving 80% cocoa chocolate squares.

And every 2 weeks I get a free day.

I got on the scale today and was surprised to see less of myself YAY!!!!  3 pounds in the last week and 34 since I started the process in August. I still don't like what my body looks like but I will someday.

Cheers

wench