Five Years and We haven't Killed each other...yet

Today B-rad and i cross the Five Year mark off our Milestone list. That's right. Five years ago today i married my best friend, and every day is better than the last...

over the course of this blog, i've talked about B-rad a bit - here are some highlights!

A Conversation:

This morning i said to Hubby:
"i'm tired. i don't think i'm sleeping very well."

To which Hubby replied:
"That's because you haven't gotten laid in a while."

and i looked at him in disgust and said:
"No...YOU haven't gotten laid in a while. that kinda thing doesn't effect me the same way it effects you."

"are you sure? I bet that's what it is."

"it's not that. i guarantee that it's not that."

"...i don't know,.... i think you just need to get laid."

The end result of this conversation was me ignoring him and walking away. (January 6, 2006)

A Letter (May 4, 2006)

A Conversation:

"hey baby, why don't you take your One Eyed Willie and stick it in my Chester Copperpot?"

"What?"

"C'mon! That's funny."

"uhm."

"it is! it's funny. it's the Most Hilarious Thing you've ever heard!!"

"you're right. it's hilarious."

"see?!"

"why don't you post that on your blog and see what they think?"

"what? no!"

"why not?"

"okay, but i warn you...my readers have my same sense of humour." (Aug 8, 2007)

The Story of Us (Sept. 4, 2007)

A Conversation

[scene: Interior, Rumpus Room. Laura is having a gallstone attack and is splayed across the couch. B-rad sits on the floor rubbing her feet trying to activate her reflex point for her gallbladder as they wait for the hyoscine butylbromide to kick in...Laura moves off into pain killer la la land....]

B-rad: What's going on up there?
Laura: hmmmn??
B-rad: What's going on up there?
Laura: ..mmm... painkillers make me....relax...
B-rad: [pause]...So you wanna try anal?

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why i married the man. (Dec 15, 2008)

B-rad, The Man (Jan 8, 2008)

Quickie

"Hey, i wrote a post about you for your birthday."

"you did?"

"Yeah."

"what does it say?"

"i told everybody about that time you were lighting your farts on fire."

"What?!?"

"Don't worry, they totally get it." (Jan 9, 2008)

A Conversation:

Laura: Our baby is so perfect

B-rad: Of course he is, it's because of my perfect semen.

Laura: Oh really? What about my perfect ovaries? Or my perfect placenta that fed him?? Or my perfect uterus that carried him?? or my perfect vagina that delivered him???

B-rad: yeah but he got so strong from all the boning.

Laura: the boning?

B-rad [to Chewie]: and i boned your mom a lot while you were in there (October 1, 2008)

A Conversation:

(you all remember those videos that caused a commotion...here's the conversation that followed)
Laura: (all sexy like) So, do you wanna go upstairs and put your penis in my vagina and deposit some sperm!?

B-rad: Well, i don't want to deposit any sperm.

Laura: But B-rad, God only wants you to have sex to deposit sperm in my vagina. If not for procreation, then SURELY not for pleasure as we both know that i was not created for pleasure but to entice you with my round BOOBS to deposit that sperm into my vagina.

B-rad: Well, i'm not depositing it.

Laura: Well, we can't use a condom, because Jesus doesn't like that, and anyway, i might get a VAGINA FULL OF AIDS...oh well,.... i guess we won't be having the sex tonight. Me, i'm going to go upstairs and play with my clitoris, because that's my gift from God for having to put up with your penis.

Brad: ...uh...Okay...

Laura: But you can't jerk off. You would be WASTING your sperm! ENTIRE CIVILIZATIONS GONE IN A FLASH!!!! God frowns on that.

Brad:.........

Laura: (big sloppy kiss) Good night!! (April 7, 2009)

God i love this man.
Happy Anniversary B-rad!