Unfortunately for me....

okay, it's Saturday and i just wanna post some fluff after that heavy post.

so it's a variation on the "Laura Needs..." google game, except you say "Unfortunately [yournamehere]..." you get the idea.

1. Unfortunately Laura's audio dropped out during her talk. [Probably a good thing, or else my answer would have come out wrong yet again.] c-- --o- ea-r m-e -oow??

2. Unfortunately, Laura's handicap and her debilitating shyness prevent her from living up to the expectations Amanda has for her. Why should i live to Amanda's expectations anyway? Who the hell is she??,.....damn stupid shyness.

3. Unfortunately, Laura has not stood the test of time very well. Well excuuuuuuuuse me! Let's see how YOU look after spitting a human being out your va-jay-jay. And anyway, how is 28 years (and 355 days) the TEST OF TIME!? {for those of you keeping score, yes. my birthday is in ten days... i'll be expecting your shower of gifts in the mail post haste}

4. Unfortunately, Laura H., I believe domestic rabbits CAN survive in the wild -- which is part of the problem. Well, anonymous stranger, what the hell am i supposed to do with all these rabbits i was planning on letting loose in DownTown The Skatch?

5. Unfortunately, Laura, who had been improving in her attitude and weight loss, continued to feel pain in her hips. Well, at least SOMEONE noticed my attitude and weight loss has been improving. Yes, the hips do continue to be a problem for me. Not so much my knee anymore, thanks to a kick ass knee brace... but my hips ARE double jointed... and not in any way that's beneficial in the BOUDOIR...

6. Unfortunately, Laura Lynn Sundae Nut Cones aren't as good as Nestle Drumsticks. Nobody said you had to eat it. So why don't you just give it back then, you ingrate. jerk.

7. Unfortunately Laura didn't make it to the finals, everybody in Flanders had now seen her obvious singing talent, but Laura kept a cool head. I always try to keep a cool head, but now that everyone in Flanders has seen my obvious singing talent, what else is there to live for??

8. Unfortunately Laura had sold all of the cds she had brought in a great run at the end of the first night's concert, so no merch was immediately available. That sounds like a good thing to me. Yay! I sold all my Merch!! W00t W00t!! Too bad i have to pay off the 200 lb gorilla of a bouncer. daang.

9. Unfortunately, Laura has yet to come in other shapes or sizes. That IS unfortunate. Variation is the key, people. We can't ALL look like me, although this is an OK shape and size. Hm, i wonder if this is why i'm having trouble losing that baby weight. Maybe i should have checked my warrantee before having a be-be.

10. Unfortunately, Laura gets separated from her companions and ends up on the roof of The Young Soo Chim Islamic Bank. This happens to me EVERYTIME i go grocery shopping. It's so embarassing, and then there's the news, and the helicopters and the explanations. I don't leave my house anymore....

Luckily for me....

1. Luckily Laura Turner Seydel will tell you it's never too late to turn in your toxins. It's NEVER too late to turn in your toxins... just leave them at the desk on your way out, let Helen know which ones are yours so she can cross you off the list. Thanks.

2. Luckily, Laura used her Negotiation Skills to get the American Government to bribe the poachers with solid gold bullion cubes Little did they know i was bribing THEM with bouillion cubes. Haa ha ha haaa...... mmmmmmbrothy.....

3. Luckily, Laura's sister is also a dancer so understands and trusts that this is part of the dance act. Sister? Sister?? i never KNEW i had a SISTER!!!!

4. But luckily Laura Mercier staff are usually very accomodating and have a few samples that you can try before you commit this amount of money... which is very important as there's a recession going on and you really want to know if the DirtyDiaper is the scent for you.

5. Luckily, Laura was an engineer and Ralph was a nerd. Poor Ralph. He bent his wookie.

6. Luckily, Laura caught her before she hit the ground. Faster than a speeding bullet!

7. Luckily, Laura Pufpaff found a surrogate. uhm, i did it without a surrogate, actually, and i have the stretch marks and the scarred lady business to prove it.

8. Luckily Laura was willing to pose for this piece that featured her favorite thing to do, swim in shark infested waters as she studied the big fishes. ...i'mgonnadowhatnow?!?

9. Luckily Laura developed her skills and now counts knitting, cross-stitching, and developing the perfect tote bag among her favorite things in life. yes.

10. Luckily Laura and I got seats...they were extremely tight...my legs didnt fit in properly and at first i was able to stick them out in the corridor. don't you hate it when your legs don't fit properly? Good thing hers were detachable so we could just leave them outside in the hall way.