Alright, it's been a busy month, and i'm finally ready to answer your questions.... in the May instalment of "Ask the Diva" Woo!!
To read Volume 1's Q&A's go here
First up - a question from Mika:
Your baby goes up and his/her fondest desire is to be a gangsta rapper. Discuss.
Well, this is really an easy answer. Chewie would become the black sheep, naturally. The only thing worse than this would be if he/she told me that his/her fondest desires were to be a Country Music Star. That would be grounds for immediate disowning.
Teeni over at the Vaguetarian Tea Room asks:
What are you most concerned about, just at this moment, regarding your new baby situation?
I am concerned that my child will grow up and want to be a Country Music Star. :D but truthfully, i have some realy concerns and fears about labour that you can read about here.
Honeywine wants to know:
What makes pee yellow?
Well, the simple answer is Magic. But the more scientific answer is: Nitrogen compounds that the body has finished with are taken out of the bloodstream by the liver and converted to urea a simple chemical containing nitrogen. The kidneys extract the urea and it goes into the urine. Urea is yellow. Case dismissed.
Globus queries:
is life better lived by compromise or by sticking to one's goals?
My honest answer to this question is compromise. Life is filled with them, the need for them, and the harmony brought about by them. I think, while it's important to have goals, there is also the need to accept and adapt and change when it just becomes impossible to achieve those goals. A small compromise may be all that is needed to accomplish something great. Also, if you're not able to bend and be flexible when the winds of change come a-roarin', you risk the chance of snapping.
That's it!! that's all! only 4 people asked the great Diva Guru a question this go 'round. Can you believe it?? Free answers, and only 4 people took me up on it? ah well, there's always the First Friday in June.... ;)
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Ask The Diva - Volume 2
180 - x365 Keeley P
You are a handful and a half of bouncing creative spontaneous energy, and i love you for it. You give me hope that a child can remain child like. You're like a ray of sunshine wrapped in a T-shirt and Pants. :D
Friday, May 30, 2008
Opening up the Fiddle Case - A Guest Post
Hey Folks!!
Well, i'm off for a few days to the big bad world of Cowtown!! B-rad decided that we should probably go now before i get too big to travel...and believe you me, it's getting close! But never fear, my pretties!! my bestest bloggy buddy Savia has graciously donated some of her fabulous writing to keep you entertained!! Isn't she a peach? yeah. She is. Happy reading!!
In December, the lovely Diva wrote me a guest post that snagged a mention on Five Star Friday and also caused some controversy with some of the Internets because of its sexual nature. The controversy was focused on the issue of whether my blog is pornographic or merely risqué.
I found this question intriguing, because over the past year, sex has started seeping into my writing, and yes, at times, it is a bit risqué. However, you may be interested to know that in the early days of my blog, sex was never mentioned. (You can check the archives if you want, but consider yourself warned: nothing racy going on there.)
The reason it wasn't mentioned is I felt uncomfortable typing anything remotely suggestive on the screen. I've always been a very sexual person, but for many years, I struggled with how to express that side of myself. I felt trapped in the middle of the virgin/whore dichotomy, full of ambivalence about my sexuality. I flipped between wanting to be seen as "the good girl" and acting like "the naughty girl." Somehow, I wanted them both. But how do you walk that line?
My relationship with my sexuality is made even more complicated by the fact that I was sexually abused at a very young age. Sexual abuse changes who you are. It changes the way you experience your body in every possible way: the way you see yourself in the mirror, the way you feel inside your skin, the way you relate to other people, personally and sexually.
And if that weren't enough, I was also raised by an overprotective religious fundamentalist mother. We never spoke about sex in our home. When my brother and I asked where babies came from, we were given a long talk about the female menstrual cycle and how the sperm and egg came together to make a baby. If we asked how the sperm and egg got together, the lecture was repeated once more with no further details.
To make things even more uncomfortable and unhelpful, from the time I was 10 years old on, every time I left the house, my mother called out, "Keep yourself pure."
Because that shit is not going to fuck you up. At all.
Yeah. Good times.
The message I got from my mother, literally on a daily basis, was sexuality is evil, unless you're married. So, until then, it might as well not exist, unless you want to burn in hell for eternity. Combine that with a lack of sexual education, and you end up with a very confused and anxiety-ridden adolescent gal.
I remember the first time I masturbated. It was completely unintentional, since I had no idea what masturbation was or how my body worked. I was 12 years old and I was having problems falling asleep one night, so I just started touching myself out of boredom. Hmmm...haven't really touched that before. Next thing I knew, there was this explosion of light and my body was convulsing, out of control. I was terrified. Something was horribly wrong with me. Why was my body doing this?
But it felt kinda cool, so I did it again, and again, and again. At 12, I became a compulsive masturbator, taking extra time in the bathroom, sneaking off to my room to "read", and making sure that there was always a blanket on top of me when I was watching TV with my family. (Oh, yeah, I totally did it with other people in the room. That's how hooked I was. They had no clue.)
Sounds like typical pre-teen sexual behaviour, yes? Well, the difference is each time I did it, I felt immense guilt and was convinced that God hated me and I was going straight to hell. Afterward, I would bargain with God, beg forgiveness and promise I would never, ever do it again. Until the next time I felt powerless to resist the urges. Whenever anything bad happened, I was sure God was punishing me for my horrible, horrible sin. This continued throughout my teens.
Some women who were sexually abused and/or raised by religious fundamentalists turn into real rebels. Others withdraw and comply with their parents' religious beliefs. I fell somewhere in the middle. Part of me was afraid - in fact, I went through a phase (years, really) where I saw penises as weapons - and part of me was very sexual and just wanted to cut loose and be free.
I have always felt pulled between those two extremes - fighting against the repression of my childhood and struggling with others' perceptions and judgements when I express myself.
A few years ago, I found this quote in a Katherine Mansfield story that has become a sort of mantra for me: "Why be given a body if you have to keep it shut up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?"
Now that I'm in my 30s, now that I've found an amazing man that I trust and love, it feels like it's time to open the case and play that fiddle. I don't want to be ashamed anymore. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I just want to be.
And while some people may not be comfortable with it, this is who I am. This is how I write on my blog. I am neither a virgin nor a whore.
I'm just Savia.
179 - x365 S.L.F.
You and i are friends solely because of B-rad. It's not that we don't get along, we do... just fine. But i find our conversations awkward and forced. You are always just a little bit out there, and i'm interested but i struggle to stay on the same playing field. B-rad misses you, every day.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
...Love is All You Need...
I've been loved!!
WOO! Penelope at It's me... Penelope has bestowed upon me the award of cuteness and love. and cute it is. and i feel the love.
For those of you who don't know, Penelope and i found each other through the delightful randomness that was Neil's Great Interview Experiment that took place this January. If you wanna read that, you can check it out here.
and since today is MY Friday - yes, i'll be leaving you all for a few days... but don't worry - there are some good posts lined up in the interim... it's my joy and pleasure to hand this award to 10 lovely bloggers who...are...AWESOME!!!
Paige Stanton - she's like my nagging blogging conscience who emails me when i haven't posted in a while and virtually kicks me in the blogging butt. Also, she's a source of writing inspiration when i'm all bunged up with Writer's Constipationi.
Saviabella - The hottest Italian i've ever met. And my internet lovah... cuz i love her.
Slyde and Earl - really, it's like their a pair... As much as i love reading their blogs - i love reading their comments on other people's blogs (including my own) cuz they're so gay for each other. It's cute. aw.
Fourleaf Clover (aka Darthmommy) - what's not to love about a Stay at home mom who is actively persuing her dream as a comic book artist?? inspiring. That's what that is. Keep it up. We're all rootin for ya!
Elise - She has one of the most interesting and entertaining lives of any blog i've ever read. She's an excellent writer, with a real set of balls!!
Witchypoo - she's fab! She's always quick to offer coding/geek help - cuz i usually have no idea what i'm doing, technically, over here. And she almost ALWAYS responds to each comment i make on her site. She's a peach. And she's predicted what the baby will be... :D Did i mention she's psychic?
Teeni - i love her! i love her blog, i love her comments, i love her emails....
2 Pink Lines, Latte Mommy, and The Cheeseblog - my new mommyblogging crushes
and if Melsie promises to blog again... she can have this oh so special EXTRA ONE TIME OFFER of this award too!!
Happy Friday (suckers!) to y'all!! and don't forget, i love's ya!!
178 - x365 Dr. Walter K
It's clear that the only reason you taught was to continue your own research - your classes single handedly caused over 50% of the students to leave the music program forever. Your undergraduate classes had a ridiculous work load, and you expected our papers to be at a grad student level. It was not unusual to see you in class wearing the suit you wore the day before, with bedhead a mile high from the couch in your office. You smelled a bit like sour milk and moth balls, and it was rumoured that you kept books in your oven at home...not that you ever went there. The secret to passing your classes, i discovered after failing a few, was to become your friend. I would often come to you with my German Lieder to get appropriate German sounding accents, and i would feign interest while you rambled on about Mahler and Wagner and whoever was your composer crush of the day.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Meme. Meme. Meme.
I know it's not actually a friday - i like to do these sort of things on fridays, but i got this in an email from a friend today - rather than just fill it out and send it to her, i figured might as well share it with the blogging world...... and also?....I like memes... so here we go....
1. What time did you get up this morning? Which time? let's see, i got up at around 2:35 to pee, then around 4:20...to pee, then about 5:00 to pee, then finally got out of bed to get ready for work aroudnd 7:15...would have slept in longer, but i had to pee.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Harold and Kumar 2, it was comical. Next on the list is Prince Caspian.
4. What is your favorite TV show? i can't pick just one... and i rarely watch TV on TV anymore, it's all seasons on DVD.... currently it's Battlestar Galactica though.
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? I have never been much of a breakfast person, but now that i have a small creature leeching off everything i eat, breakfast has become a necessity... lately it's been Raisin Bran, cuz B-rad usually leaves the box out in the morning.
6. What is your middle name? It starts with a "K"
7. What food do you dislike? i dislike fish in all it's forms. And currently i can't stomach curry, which is very sad to me cuz i love it so. Something about my pregnancy... it still SMELLS delicious, but i can't take the taste.
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? We've been listening to a lot of MUSE lately... but no one particular CD sticks out in my mind
9. What kind of car do you drive? A big silver Chrysler... with room for 3 car seats in the back, so says my SIL
10. What is your favorite sandwich? Club Sandwhiches on Rye
12. Favorite item of clothing? right now...tank tops. i'm hot all the time...
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Somewhere with a nice body of water for swimming. I wouldn't say no to a trip to the Carribean....but talk about HOT!
14. favorite brand of clothing? I do not do brands if i can help it. Screw them, why should i pay to wear their advertising?? Although, it would seem that currently there are five pairs of Addidas shoes in my front entrance...
15. Where would you retire to? Some place warm with no snow.
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? My 20th birthday in Vienna - we went to see Carmen at the Vienna Opera House.
17. Favorite sport to watch? Porn. We've already had this discussion...
18. Furthest place you are sending this? Who knows how far the outreaches of this blog go...
19. Are you a morning person or a night person? i'm a nothing person right now. i'm tired all the time, in the morning, during the day, in the afternoon, in the evening, at bedtime...
20. What is your shoe size? I range between 9 and 10 depending on the shoe. Yup, skis. And apparently, your feet grow a full size when you're pregnant! So maybe by this time next year they'll be size 11!?
21. Pets? 2 cats, who are both currently being assholes.
22. What did you want to be when you were little? I wanted to be a famous singer, and a novelist. Although at the time, i called Novelists "Book Writers".
23. How are you today? Well, actually, my tail bone is really sore today, which makes sitting at this desk a difficult task... so i guess you could say i've been better... but other than that? Peachy.
24. What is your favorite candy? If popsicles are considered candy, then they are.
25. What is your favorite flower? Lilacs. They're all starting to bloom in my backyard!!
26. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? August 28th.
27. What is your full name? I Am The Diva
28. What are you listening to right now? Nothing. My computer speakers aren't working these days... but i've got "Inner City Pressure" by Flight of the Conchords in my head right now...
29. What was the last thing you ate? An apple cinnamon cookie
30. Do you wish on stars? No, but a gaze at them quite often.
31. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Turquoise
32. How is the weather right now? Oh man, it's so nice outside!! Let's all go outside and play!
33. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mom.
34. Favorite soft drink? Coca-Cola... but i try not to drink it too often
35. Favorite restaurant? My food moods change too often for there to be a favourite in my life right now.
36. Hair color? Brunette baby
37. What was your favorite toy as a child? i was really more of a reader than a toy-player... unless you count the original 8 bit Mario Brothers for Nintendo
38. Summer or winter? summer
39. Hugs or kisses? hugs hugs hugs.
40. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate
41. Coffee or tea? Coffee. i can't wait until i can go back to more than one precious cup a day...
42. When was the last time you cried? Last Night.
43. What is under your bed? the floor.
44. What did you do last night? Check it out
45. What are you afraid of? Uhm, see this post... also the day when Canada gets invaded by the States for our Water and other resources...
46. Salty or sweet? Salty snacks usually... but this pregnancy has me craving the sweets.
47. How many keys on your key ring? about 6
48. How many years at your current job? just over the first year mark.
49. Favorite day of the week? Saturday - It's one FULL day with B-rad and you know that there's one more to come before it's back to work
50. Do you make friends easily? Actually no, i'm really quite shy.
177 - x365 Sandi D
You look tired a lot. Like the world has dragged you down and you've given up scratching your way back up. But you always look out for me, and you're the only boss i've ever had that i've been able to be up front about what's bothering me. You've created a safe work environment, and i'm scared that when i come back from Mat leave, you'll be gone.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
176 - x365 Dustin S.
You transfered to our high school when you were 'asked to leave' the Christian school when your girlfriend got pregnant. Somehow we bonded, though we were never super close, we really enjoyed each other's company. You were a coffee and cigarette buddy when Dickface would leave me high and dry... and when he took me to the coffee shop on our one year anniversary to have coffee with his friends - you stood up for me and reminded me that the person i'm with should treat me better, and you said that to me in front of him and his friends. I'll always remember you for that.
Monday, May 26, 2008
175 - x365 Helen S
In the mornings, before you and Carlee both left, i would meet you two for coffee and cigarettes before work. Your bleached blond hair always seemed a bit like a tiger - a little orange with dark roots, and your skin was wrinkled and yellow from years of smoking. I tried never to watch you eat, as you had no back teeth. Your on again off again abusive relationship made me sad. You were so excited when you bought your condo - you said you never thought you'd see the day when you'd actually own your home...., only to sell it and move in with him less than a year later.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
174 - x365 Nouhad H.
You are one of the kindest, sweetest women i have ever known. That place would fall apart if you weren't there. I sincerely hope that someday you will go back to school or find a job where you are appreciated. You assured me that under your Hijab was a full head of thick wavy black hair, and when i'd say i wanted to see it, you'd call your Twin, Nouha, and tell her to come in with your nephews. You and your brother tried to teach me Arabic, i loved the way the worlds tripped and rolled off my tongue.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
173 - x365 Chris B
You and i got along well enough, but i didn't really have anything to do with you. Those that did had lots to say about you, but our relationship was solid. You left your life as a nurse when your husband created the company. You told me once that if you hadn't you would have never seen him. A few years before i started you moved into a condo 2 blocks from work - thinking that being closer to the office would mean you'd see more of your husband, you told me later it backfired and you actually see him less.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Can i Win??
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I love contests!!
and Melinda at Musings by Melinda is having one right now!! the winner gets loverly face cream to make their faces lovely.
Go over and check it out!! **HEY CANUCKS!! THIS ONE'S OPEN TO CANADIAN RESIDENTS!!** WOO!
The Post in which i say Underpants... a lot....
So, i'm in the washroom at the office this morning for my umpteenth pregnancy pee of the day, when i glance down and notice the tag for my underpants. **
Care instructions:
Wash with like colour
Wash in Cold water
Tumble Dry
Do Not Iron
Do you iron your underpants? or know somebody who does?? The time to come clean in cold water with like colours is now people!! Tumble dry!! BUT DO NOT IRON!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!
**after some discussion with my loverly S.I.L., Melsie, it should be noted that the underpants i'm wearing are sensible-full-bum-cotton-pregnant-lady-underpants. (now awaiting the inevitable comments from Slyde and Earl) and NOT the fancy kind that might melt under an iron.