Thursday, January 31, 2008

Sundogs and Blood Work

Just last night i was thinking that i hadn't seen any Sundogs yet this year. Really they're the only good thing about it being this cold out.
Then this morning, as i was on my way to my Doctor's appointment - i looked out the window, and there they were...

i wish i could take credit for these photos


they're so pretty.





B-rad and i met with our doctor for the first time today. She's great, i am really excited about her. Our appointment was about 1.5 hours late, but when we actually met with her, she apologized for being late, she was just delivering a baby this morning.


anyway, she was very nice and funny and made us both instantly comfortable. Nothing at all like the doctor from hell that i saw for my last pap.


after the appt, i had to go to the lab and get some blood work done. needles and vials of blood. this is how i spent my afternoon. Now my arm is heavy and sore... so i'm hanging out on the couch - recharging.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

120 - x365 Kim K

when you were hired, i thought you wouldn't last a day. you were a barbie doll in the corporate world - and it was bigger than you. but you lasted, and i hope you gained some experience before you left there. i'm glad you did. they would have crushed your beautiful spirit.

119 - x365 Brandy L.

you are a talented writer, i wish you would do more. i know there is more to you than you're willing to show people. i hope you will someday realize that you're a great person, and you deserve to be happy as much as everyone else.

118 - x365 Alexis K

after not seeing your for 3 years, i sent you a quick hello on facebook. You messaged me back and demanded that we go for coffee the next night. Of all those i went to school with, you are the one i feel confident will find their way on the Musical Theatre scene. You bubble and people are attracted to that. When we had coffee, it was like we had never left.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

what the freezing f*ck?

Dear Winter,

Fuck you.

Sincerely,

the diva.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This morning is the coldest day on record for my little city on the prairie. The radio announcers tell me that it's -39C today, but with the windchill it's actually -50C. (For my Farenheit friends, that's -38.2F and with Windchill -58F).

What is windchill?

The windchill temperature is how cold people and animals feel when outside. Windchill is based on the rate of heat loss from exposed skin caused by wind and cold. As the wind increases, it draws heat from the body, driving down skin temperature and eventually the internal body temperature. Therefore, the wind makes it FEEL much colder.

For those of you who just can't fathom that much coldness.... it's like, the air is sooo cold that when you step outside, it sends sharp stabbing pains into your lungs - essentially throwing them into shock - and you are forced to cough. and by doing so, you inadvertedly suck a bunch of NEW cold air in and the cycle continues. also, think about this. Skin freezes at -40C or F. (that's the only point on the thermometer where the two sides match up) that's right, freezes. So, if you happen to be stuck outside for more than a few seconds at a time, say goodbye to your appendages, and hello to frostbite.

it's almost impossible to think at this temperature. And yet, thousands of weary souls trudged through the snow and ice and made it in to work....to empty offices and teeny tiny space heaters under their desks. (right now, my left leg is nice and toasty, but the rest of me is freezing)

My question to the powers that be in this little city is: "HOW FUCKING COLD DOES IT NEED TO GET BEFORE YOU SHUT DOWN THE CITY AND TELL EVERYONE TO STAY HOME???!!!"

Seriously, winter. fuck you.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

I'm SOMEBODY!!

Citizen Neil's Great Interview Experiment continues....
to read my interview with itsmepenelope go here... to learn more about the experiment go here ...check out these other great interviews here

I've been interviewed over at Sizzlesays and i was contemplating posting the interview here as well, as she suggested, but i really think you should all head over there and read it for yourself.

and leave a comment and share the love!! :D

what are you waiting for? go read it!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Whaddayacallit?? X-rated!?!?

okay, so i've been watching old episodes of "The L Word", which i love (don't spoil anything, i'm only on Season 3) and i got to thinking about all the euphemsisms there are for Vagina. So, i thought i'd try one of Teeni's name games, but obviously, my take on it is a tad uh, dirtier. So leave your favourite 'names' in the comments and i'll add them to the list! here are some to start you off: (watch the Google searches fly in)

  1. Yoni
  2. Va-jay-jay
  3. Cunt
  4. Pussy
  5. Fish Taco
  6. Coochy Snorcher
  7. Down There
  8. Twat
  9. Lady Bits
  10. Axe Wound
  11. Bearded Clam
  12. Pooch
  13. Donkey Lips
  14. Button Hole
  15. Noon-nee
  16. Twitchy
  17. Snatch
  18. Man Hole
  19. Bird
  20. Map of Tasmania
  21. Silk Purse
  22. Puddin' Pie
  23. Everlasting Gobstopper
  24. Muff
  25. Honeypot
  26. Boosh
  27. Gap
  28. Slash
  29. Cunny
  30. Privates
  31. Pah-jina
  32. Hoo
  33. Ver-jean (a la Borat)
  34. Smurfette
  35. Kunkle
  36. Canoe
  37. Money Maker
  38. Petunia
  39. Leetle Friend
  40. Cooter
  41. Pudenda
  42. Cum-Catcher
  43. Fuzzy Eclair
  44. Foof
  45. Furry Axe Wound
  46. Lady Garden
  47. Poon-tang
  48. Gash
  49. Slit
  50. Cum Dumpster
  51. Box
  52. Meat Wallet
  53. Cunny
  54. Quim
  55. Beaver
  56. Tampon Socket
  57. Finger Hut
  58. Love Canal
  59. Fly Catcher
  60. Munk -short for chipmunk (an extreme giggle for those of you who know my maiden name)
  61. Nappy Dugout
  62. The Abyss
  63. Hot Pocket
  64. Tuna Town
  65. Roast Beef Pita
  66. The Ovary Office (lol, so far my favourite)
  67. Furburge
  68. Wonder Snatch
  69. Shakala
  70. B-rad's Heated Car Garage

117 - x365 James K

the first time we met i was in town for the weekend and we all went bowling. you refused to shake your booty when you got a strike. we didn't say much to each other, but you seemed like a quiet guy. it was from reading your blog that i got to know you, and appreciate your humour... and, of course, there was that one time when you kept making that Shocked-Happy-Tiger-Intimacy face...and we all openly mocked the dude who drove his car into the street-lake. i knew you were a perfect fit for her.

116 - x365 Krista J

you are the baby sister i never had.
watching as you grow up, it's amazing to see you come into your own with your own amazing personality, and to see that you inherited your family's zany sense of humour. This summer, we hope to initiate you into the sisterhood. it's about time.

115 - x365 Allister J.

Once at a bush party we were standing by the bon-fire and we re-named ourselves with robot names. To this day, when we see each other - we greet each other as such:

"ASSTARRRR!!!!"
"LAURNARRRR!!!"

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Citizen of the Month's Great Interview Experiment

Neil - over at Citizen of the Month had the brilliant idea to interview the common blogger...and how better to interview the common blogger than....the common blogger!!
i immediately signed up for this and i was assigned to interview Penelope over at its me penelope and it was a fun trip! This bubbly blond hails from the U.K. and has only been a part of the blogging world for a few months now, so it was easy to catch up on her full body of blogging posts. and now, with out further ado, Laura vs Penelope:


1. Over in Canada, the General feeling is that England is Canada's oldest sibling and The Queen is everyone's kindly grandma (i maybe over generalizing, truth is, that's just my take on it.) How do the British view Canada?

I think that there are still a lot of Brits that believe Canada is part of the USA - and I know how much that irks you all! Personally I think Canadians don't seem to try and attract attention, in the way that some other Commonwealth siblings do, we see a polite nation that gets on with their business with no fuss and bother, and of course we see snow...and beavers! (Oh come on...I had to...)


2. How has being an Air Force brat shaped you as the person you are today? would you have changed anything?

Being brought up in a Forces family means one thing when you're a child - every 2 years or so you start a new school. As the oldest sibling my job was usually to blaze the trail and get us settled in, which I didn't find difficult. By the time I was 11 years old I had started and left 8 different schools. As a result I'm not exactly the shy type, and have always found moving and settling into new surroundings exciting. We were lucky enough to live in Germany on 2 occasions and eventually came back to England to go to boarding school (very common with Forces brats). Living in Germany meant that we were just a few hours drive away from many other countries and our parents always had the travel bug. We travelled all over Western Europe, it was fantastic! I wouldn't change any of it.

3. What do you want to be when you grow up? What is your absolute dream job?

When I grow up? I'll be 40 in 3 years! Oh bless you! I don't want to grow up any more if I can avoid it really. I have a wonderful job now and can't imagine doing anything else.

4. what is the hardest part about your diet, and what do you do to conquer/overcome that?

The hardest things to cut out were sugar and wine. I have a terribly sweet tooth so switching to artificial sweeteners in tea and coffee was tough. I have cut out coffee altogether because I couldn't tolerate it without sugar and am now addicted to peppermint tea instead! The wine thing...well...that's just down to will power and then treating myself to a few (several) glasses on a weekend. The main thing is that I really want to do this, so when I feel tempted I just remind myself of that rather scary number on the scales the first time I weighed myself!


5. As you've got the complete set, which is easier to raise - a little boy or a little girl? (This is my form of research as i'm due in August with my first)

I never thought I would say this before I had children, but boys are SO much easier than girls! I can only go on my own experience though. My son is seriously laid back, there is rarely any drama from him. He does what I ask, when I ask, usually without any fuss or argument, and for a 14 year old boy that is very unusual in itself. My daughter....woah...drama ALL the way! Someone looked at her the wrong way at school - drama, she lost something - drama, I asked her to do something for me - drama...get the picture? I stay sane because I know that outside of our home, she is quiet as a mouse and good as gold, according to anyone who looks after her for me - typical!
(Huge congratulations on yours!!)


6. What has been your most favourite trip/holiday - and where would you go if you could?

My favourite trips are when I stay with my friends in Texas. I just LOVE Texas! It brings out the devil in me for sure. I feel so at home there and the second I land at the airport I can't stop grinning and I don't stop until it's time to leave. There are still so many places I want to visit, Canada, (of course!), Australia and New Zealand, I would love to go back to South Africa and see a lot more of that amazing country. Winning Lotto numbers would be useful huh?


7. How has blogging effected your life? What are your plans for the future of itsmepenelope.com?

Well, I haven't been doing this for very long so it's not had a massive impact yet. I was reading blogs for a long time before I started writing mine though - after swearing blind that I never would, of course! I have started the writing in my head thing that people mention a lot. I do a lot of that during my drive to work in the morning. As for the future, who knows. I'm enjoying this so far, the discipline is good for me and as long as I'm having fun, and have at least 1 reader, I'll carry on.


8. Someone once said "A home is not a home with out a cat", and as you are a self-proclaimed crazy cat lady, how have your fuzzy feline friends made your house a home?

Don't start me on my cats! How long have you got? I didn't start out intending to be a crazy-cat-lady, it all happened by accident. All of my cats, and my dog are rescue pets who treat the house like a hotel! I do love wandering from room to room and finding them lying about though, it makes me smile. They all have very different personalities too, so some will sleep on my bed and really snuggle, while others will only cuddle when THEY choose, and God help me if I try to approach them without being invited! The dog has the patience of a saint to put up with them - as do I. My oldest cat (almost 16 now) greets me on the driveway whenever I have been out somewhere and despite my daily worry that I'll run my own cat over as I park the car, that's when I know I'm home.


9. You talk a lot about your online backgammon crew - what is it about backgammon that turns your crank? i've tried to learn to play it several times and it never takes, and i have a lovely backgammon set a friend brought me from Turkey and it sits in the cupboard, unused.

I learnt to play Backgammon when I was about 15 and then picked it up online about 15 years later. I love the strategy, but also the risk, as the game is ultimately ruled by dice. You can do everything right and then 1 lousy roll will lose you the game, you never know what's going to happen next, and that's what's so addictive about it. If I didn't love the risk, I would play Chess, but Chess bores me rigid! Someone said Backgammon takes a minute to learn and a lifetime to master - very true.


10. You are a glass of wine, describe yourself in detail; i.e. colour, personality, glass, etc.

(I LOVE this question!) I am definitely a glass of Champagne. I'm pale blonde coloured, very bubbly, fizzy, with a crisp, dry flavour and lingering softer, fruity undertones. I like to be seen in long elegant glasses (well, I will soon enough!) and I'm expensive if you want to try and buy me ;o) (I also may have slight delusions of grandeur!)

to read other interviews by other bloggers, click here!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

OH MY GOD

uhm, Heath Ledger is Dead?!? Can you believe it??

To wash away the bitter taste of more snow

Yes, it's true. We're getting more snow. it has been snowing all day long, and i'd say we got a good 3-4 inches since i left the house this morning.

It seems, though, the the worst is behind us - Jan 21 being hailed as The Most Depressing Day of the Year. so logic will tell us that it can only get better from here right?

i was really starting to get down in the dumps the last few days. Sure, i could chalk it up to the additional hormones i've been dealing with in the last couple of weeks, and that may be partly to blame. But i think, on top of that, i may have a slight touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder. Just a touch.

Lemme backtrack a bit.

Back when B-rad and i thought maybe procreating wasn't such a bad idea, a good friend of mine called me with the good news that she and her husband were pregnant! They had been trying for a few months, and were super excited. She told me almost instantly - as we had talked about starting our families at the same time. She found out she was pregnant at the beginning of December.

When my little test said '+' i called her that day and told her that it looked like our babies would only be a few weeks apart! it was all very exciting and thrilling for both of us. she and her husband told their families Christmas Day - both sides super thrilled because it would be the first grandchild for both.

a few days later she sent me a facebook message saying she'd lost the baby... and now, here i was... pregnant and reading that my good friend had miscarried, and there was nothing i could do about it. i immediately felt guilty that my body had held on where hers hadn't. and at the same time - ultimate relief that Little Rock Star is still tucked away, safe.

i haven't talked with her much lately, and i know that she's probably still healing, but i can't shake the feeling that she resents me right now. that's an awful feeling. And it may just be the product of my own hormonal delusions coupled with S.A.D.... but January kept piling it on.

B-rad took some time to adjust to the fact that we were going to have a baby. And i totally respect that, but while he adjusted i anguished over it... thoughts of "b-rad doesn't want the baby" and "He's mad at me cuz i'm excited" kept rolling over and over in my mind. it was very hard, emotionally, thinking for that first week that i was all alone in my joy. i couldn't even tell anyone because it felt too soon, and in the light of my friend's miscarriage - it was all i could think about. But after we told our families, and as B-rad called his friends in Cowtown, he caught up with me and is equally excited and terrified.

Please, January, may i have some more?
sure.

So, my loverly, beautiful, talented friend Paige Stanton announced before christmas that she and JRK were finally engaged! HOORAY! and when she asked me to be a bridesmaid i emphatically said YES! There was no wedding date in sight, and after the holiday she told me she had been able to secure her wedding spot at the beginning of September. That's when i knew, i had to back out. i was home sick, and reading that email with the wedding date i thought "I have to tell her now." so i called her at work and told her that i was having a baby! she was very excited (she's such a great friend) and then i told her that i had to decline her offer of being a bridesmaid as i am due on August 28th, and by her wedding day i will have either just had the baby or be BIG AS A HOUSE and may go into labour in the middle of the ceremony! she was very understanding, but i couldn't help but feel like a huge jerk face, because i love her and really wanted to be in her wedding party.

and once the word was really out, i kept getting notes and messages and emails from folks saying that they felt like everyone around them was pregnant, and already in a downward spiral i began thinking: "Maybe i shouldn't post on my blog about my pregnancy, maybe i should just announce it, say my thing, and then get on with blogging life" but its so hard. and it seemed like in another area of my life where i had to hide my joy and keep it to myself and it got to be too much.

last week i reconnected with an old old friend and she demanded that we go for coffee to catch up, and when we did i kept saying; "oh, lets not talk about the baby." because i didn't want to make my friend - who was single and living the craziest life i've ever heard - uncomfortable or bored.

with my friends miscarriage, b-rad's adjustment period, having to say sorry to Paige, and then deciding not to talk about it on my blog or elsewhere - i think i had a little nervous breakdown. I vegged all day sunday, hardly moving from the couch. i was up to my tear-ducts in emotion. all i could think of was this was my first pregnancy - i should have been on top of the world but instead i was holding in my excitement so as to not hurt others or overload others on baby talk.

i felt like i was the only person in the world who was happy for me.

of course, now in the light of the other side of Jan. 21, i can see that that's completely not the case. i know that for every scenario i create in my head where i think someone is annoyed with me, there are 100 people who are happy for me. Paige, thank you so much for your emails yesterday, you practically threw down the life line that saved me.

SO, here's the dish. i'm pregnant. i'm going to have a baby at the very end of August - maybe early September! i am excited about this, and as much as i really REALLY don't want this to be a mommy blog - i am a mommy in preparation right now. And there will be the odd reference here and there to the Little Rock Star who has taken up residency about 2 feet below my head.

and thank you to everyone who puts up with little old hormonal-january-sucks-me.

now. here's some cuteness. Watch it and smile. Cuteness.



Oh, and FYI - there are "talks" in the work with The Crazy-Cruises to create an animated feature film about Knut the polar bear starting Suri Cruise as Knut... seriously. the kid is 2, she should be playing with blocks and dolls and stuff.

and here's the translated version of 2 talking kitties






Vote for me for Best Personal Blog because each vote for me keeps Suri a child one day longer

114 - x365 Sarah Jade

when we met you were 10 and i was 17. you wore a back brace and your hair was constantly greasy... your eyes were so big in your head you reminded me of a mouse - an injured mouse. you clung to me like a life preserver which i found exhausting and emotionally draining. i didn't find out until 10 years later the hell that you were living in. i'm so sorry i didn't see it then.