Proud to Be Canadian

Happy Birthday Canada.... The radio tells me you're 141 years old young today, and you are lookin' good!

For my friends who don't hail from my Home and Native Land, today is Canada Day. It is the day we take off in July to celebrate being Canucks, and we celebrate it by drinking beer and having fireworks - much like you're Independence Day in the States, except we're not really celebrating our independence, cuz uhm, i think we're still considered part of the British Empire? Maybe? i dunno. The point is - free day off and lots of parties.

So anyway, here are some of the things i love about being Canadian...

in no particular order:

1.) The legal age in Canada is 19 (in some provinces, it's 18!) There's nothing like going to the next province over for your Grade 12 Band Trip and legally drinking in the restaurants... and legally purchasing booze for the hotel party. yeah.

2.) French accents. Yeah. Hawt. Quebec, i love it.... it's like the angsty older teenage sibling of provinces... y'know, it's had some life experineces - it's chic and european, but it's still living at home and even though all the other younger provinces look up to it, we're all kind of annoyed with each other... like, it went to boarding school in France and insists on speaking French at the dinner table

3.) Jean Chretien - former Prime Minister of Canada with a great sense of humour, really entertaining...i admit that i really don't know/care much about his politics, but damn if he isn't funny to watch and listen to...


4.) Which brings me to Canadian Politics in general. Not that i'm a follower, cuz i'm not. But for a while there - for a good long stint, our politicians would regularly appear on Comedy shows like "This Hour has 22 Minutes" (as featured in the above clip). But now, our super lame Prime Minister Boring McHarper has put an end to that. bleh. He has bad hair too. Our politicians USED to have a pretty good sense of humour and were able to laugh at themselves. I don't think Stephen McBlah has any kind of humour or emotions - but then i also think he's a robot that is being controlled by his bad hair, or Washington. Whatev.

5.) French Fries smothered in Gravy and Cheese Curds... otherwise known as "Nectar of the Gods" or Poutine. If you're a regular reader here, or know me in real life, you already know how i feel about the stuff. Yes, it IS a heart attack on a plate, but so damn tasty....

After this photo shoot - i'm totally going to eat this kitten

6.) Uhm....HELLO!? The Canadian National Animal is the Beaver. The Noble Beaver. heh heh heh... which leads to all kinds of fun T-shirts and bumper stickers.... And this is the one time, dear internets, that i proudly display my Beaver for all to see!!

7.) In the States, you show your patriotism (as i understand it) by saluting the flag, or reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, or joining the Forces. In Canada, you show your patriotism by getting drunk on Canadian Beers and attending Hockey Games. Not saying it's better, just different.

8.) Okay, we're really polite. Almost to a fault. It's true. I mean, in a really crowed space like a concert or a bus... if i bump into someone, most likely they'll turn around and say "Sorry!". Yes, you should be sorry for minding your own business while i clutz around you. But generally, it ends up being "Sorry" in unison as we both beg each other's forgiveness.

9.) Canada has the some of the most beautiful landscapes on Earth.

10.) Canada is really really big.

11.) We have made mistakes in the past with our Indigenous Peoples, but i am proud to say that in spite of the Huge Fuckups of our Historic Governments, the native cultures are still alive and (hopefully) regenerating. I love love love the Totem Poles in Stanley Park in Vancouver - also, at least one of those was carved by my Aunt's Biological Grandfather.

12.) Healthcare. Especially now that i'm about to have a baby, the reading i've done astounds me that any Americans ever have kids... how do you afford it? Sometimes i can barely afford a cup of coffee, let alone the thousands of dollars it requires to start a family. And i know that it's not *free* healthcare, yes, my taxes pay for it and there are problems with the system; for example - the waiting periods for some procedures can be very frustrating, and at times like those you think: "Couldn't i just PAY you and move to the head of the line?", or the shortage of medical staff. But generally, i love the health care system. Thank you Tommy Douglas

13.) Canadian Pot. From Medicinal Mary Jane to Vansterdam. Whether you smoke it, or not, or agree with it, or not, Canada has a 'reputation' for good pot. It boosts tourism, it helps alleviate symptoms of the chronically ill, it's generally a good thing - and the laws surrounding it's possession and distribution are ever evolving, there's even a Marijuana Party (legal political party, not - like a house party or anything). And when you go to Amsterdam and mention that you're Canadian, they immediately get impressed and pull out the *good weed* and go on to explain the virtures of smoking the Bubble Gum vs the Super Skunk............. uhm...not that this happened to me... uh, it happened to a friend of a friend...yeah.... who had to walk home higher than a weather balloon through the red light district to their hostel on the other side of down town, while being tailed by panhandlers who knew they were high. a friend of friend's cousin's step-sister's uncles buddy. yeah.

14.) Gay Marriage. It's legal here. (for now....i'm looking at YOU Stephen McDouchebag) We love the Gays! WOO!!

15.) The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.

16.) Goalie Masks, Ski-Doos, Insulin, Telephone, Wonderbra, Pacemaker, Zipper, Standard Time, Canadarm, Basketball, Pablum, Alkaline Battery, Instant Mashed Potatoes, Walkie-Talkies.... all Canadian Inventions

17.) Corner Gas, Degrassi Street, Jr. High, High, and Next Generation - well, that's about it for really good Canadian TV...

18.) Tuques - pronounced TOOOOK. This is not a "Wool Cap" it's a tuque. Plain and simple. And we wear them because it's cold here - well, in the winter it is. Not today.... Today is supposed to be 30 degrees here! (which is about 86 F i think)

19.) Spelling words like "Colour", "Honour", "Valour" with the letter 'u'...







20.) In the words of The Arrogant Worms:

Our fair country, Canada, is north of USA.
Our Maritimes are lovely and our prairies give us hay.
You might think you Yankees are better than us Canucks.
Well, we don't need no microchips inside our hockey pucks.

We know that you've got Disney World,
and you keep it very clean.
We don't have Bob Dole,
but we can drink when we're nineteen.
We may watch your TV shows for hours and hours and hours.
We'll give you Alan Thicke, but Shania Twain is ours.

Chorus:
We're proud to be Canadian.
We're awfully nice to strangers, our manners be our curse.
It's cool in many ways to be Canadian.
We won't say that we're better, it's just that we're less worse.

Your beer's not too tasty and your weather can't be beat.
We all fly south in the winter time to escape the snow and sleet.
We're pleased to say that we've enjoyed all your southern charms.
But we get sunburnt when we exercise the right to bare our arms.

(Chorus)

Alanis Morrisette she is our latest pride and joy.(ohh)
She used to sing about high school dances and chasing after boys.(yeah)
But now she is fed up(fed up) and about as angry as can be.
She's got one hand in her pocket, and the other's on guard for thee.

We're proud to be Canadian.(Proud to be Canadian)
We're awfully nice to strangers, our manners be our curse.
(we're just to darn nice)
It's cool in many ways to be Canadian.(I like to be Canadian)
We won't say that we're better, it's just that we're less worse.

We're proud to be Canadian.(proud to be Canadian)
We're awfully nice to strangers, our manners be our curse.
(Can I get the door for you ma'am?)
It's cool in many ways to be Canadian.(it's cool cause it's cold up here)
We won't say that we're better,(ooh) it's just that we're less worse.

Beers are not enough 

What about you? what do you love about my Home and Native Land?