Dear Internets

i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who have sent me well wishes, and flowers, and ecards. i am feeling better every day, thanks to the magics of modern technologies...

thank you drugs that end in 'cillin'.

i should be back to my normal self soon.

Love Laura

cough cough...

sputter sputter....

sick sick sick.

The Return of Pearl

Learning from Grandma Part Two - The Secret Art of Kielke

Melsie writes down the 'secret' recipe

Melsie and i arrived at B-rad's Grandma's house, ready to learn the secret art of making Kielke from the Master. I told Grandma i wanted to write everything down so i could make it, and she said that she actually DID have a recipe... and it's this:

1 egg
1 cup milk
1 1/2 tbsp salt
and about 3 cups of flour

First thing's first, we have to rinse the sausage, cut it and put it in a roaster.

That's some mighty big sausage...

Much of the day was spent with Grandma saying: Add a bit more flour. As the recipe itself is very simple, the key and the secret lies in finding the right consistency of the dough.

"Add a bit more flour"

Spending time with Grandma was very cool. She's a bit hard of hearing, so you have to make sure you don't speak to fast, but she was quite a sense of humour on her.

after mixing the dough, you knead the dough by hand - adding more flour each time

This is definitely not a meal you want to be eating if you are allergic to gluten. This photo was taken by my very talented, very lovely photographer and beautiful six year old niece Madison. My other two gorgeous nieces - Chloe and Mya - are in the photo watching Grandma teach me how to knead dough.

After Grandma is satisfied that your dough is hard enough... it is rolled out as thin as you can and then cut into strips. Those strips are put through the noodle maker on the press setting to flatten and thin the dough. this is done twice, so you are left with long strips of very thin dough. It must be floured on both sides every time you run it through the press so as to not gum up the machine.

Running the dough through the press to make long thin strips

Grandma told us how, before she had a mixer or a noodle cutter, she used to do it ll by hand. Mixing the dough by hand, and rolling out the dough to the required thickness, and then cutting the noodles all by hand with a knife. She told us she was very excited when she got her noodle cutter.

And i can see whyMAKING NOODLES...THE KIELKE IS BORN!

After cutting the noodles, they are spread out on the table so they can dry out a bit before cooking. Melsie and i made a triple batch, so we needed all the counter space we could find.

A few hours of hard work later, we have many many Kielke noodles, and we're ready to cook.

Melsie, Grandma, and I - admiring our handiwork.

Just when you think you're done... you're not done. Now the meal needs to be cooked. With the Sausage roasting in the oven - the smell is intoxicating. We're tired and sore but we must press on!! There's supper to be made. Get busy ladies!

Noodles anyone?

Once the noodles have been sifted to remove the excess flour, they are boiled in a big pot. Because of all the flour, it looks remarkably like glue. But smells like noodles...so it must be noodles.

mmmmgluenoodles

When the noodles are cooked, you cut one in half to make sure the colour is consistent throughout. If it's all the same, then they are ready to be rinsed. Unfortunately for everyone else, i burned a few of the noodles on the bottom. Grandma said it was okay becuase i was just learning. :D Anyway, in the picture above, you can see the pot with the beginnings of the cream gravy.

For those of you who don't know, cream gravy is essentially - the juices from the sausage mixed with Milk or Cream, flour, salt and pepper. It's very delicious.

B-rad says: "Delicious!"

it was a long full day. But in the end, the meal was so very satisfying knowing that we had made the meal from very very scratch. It was nice to spend time with Melsie and her girls, and with Grandma. Next time we're learning how to make Grandma's Dinner buns. mmmmm.

Learning from Grandma Part One

Tonight i'm learning how to make the old school Mennonite meal of Kielke. (sounds like: Keell-Kyah) which is essentially noodles and cream gravy.

I'm going with Melsie to B-rad's Grandma's to learn how to make this dish. It's served with Farmer Sausage..mmmm....

but Grandma doesn't have a recipe, because she's been making this recipe for sixty years. Hopefully we'll be abe to learn it and do it justice.

i'll try and take some pics and post them, you'll love grandma, she's super cute. :D

wish me luck

Woot.

Me and Melsie like to drink booze and play dice - cuz that's how we roll and shit. yeah suckas.

(Video via Teeni) I know that's TWO videos today and no post, but this one is just so great.... nobody can make me feel better like Louis Armstrong can.

Because it's Friday, That's why....#2

Because it's Friday, and because i'm feeling very unlike myself that anything i post will just be mean spirited and hurtful....

and cuz Thumper's mother says: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say nothing at all"
so.


to bring myself out of that funk - i'm bringing the funk! This makes me happier beyond belief.

TT#4 - 13 Albums That RUCKING FOCK!!

Better late than never, here are 13 albums that kick ass...in no particular order

Thirteen Albums that ROCK



1. - Dark Side of the Moon - Pink Floyd

I could listen to Dark Side over and over again, but seeing it live was a highlight of my life. So much of many of my music interests have been influenced by B-rad, but Pink Floyd we fell into together....starting with The Wall, psynching it up with The Wizard of Oz like any good little pothead musician. Check out "Great Gig in the Sky" and "Eclipse"

2. - Post - Bjork

Once, while living in Calgary, some friends of mine made me a mixed CD, she was big into Bjork so there were two singles on the disc. While the entire mix was fabulous, those 2 ended up being my faves so i started downloading more singles, and eventually just went out and bought up all her albums. It's hard to pick one that i like more, so i had to think back to which one i'd tend to pop in the car stereo the most often. it's a good album. Check out "Hyper Ballad" or "Army of Me"

3. - OK Computer - Radiohead

Radiohead rocks, this album rocks.... there's not much more to say... it fucking rocks. See "Karma Police" or "Paranoid Android"

4. - Aenima - Tool

if you know me or B-rad, you'll know we're big Tool Fans. This album is probably the best, every single song is a winner. EVERY ONE. plus it features my favourite comedian Bill Hicks. "I think drugs have done some good things for us, I really do. If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn 'em." Okay, just listen to the whole thing...it's metal, but it's good.

5. - Mer De Noms - A Perfect Circle

This is actually the album that led me to being a TOOL fan, mainly - Maynard proved to me that he could sing. He just always to sing so passionately. Check out "Three Libras" or "Thinking of You". Gooooood times.


6. - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - The Beatles

Another album that is great from start to finish. I mean, c'mon, it's the Beatles. "A Day in The Life" is soooo good, and "When I'm 64" is the cutest of love songs out there.


7. - The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars - David Bowie

We fell into love with David Bowie by accident. But once we bought this album (On Vinyl...thankyouverymuch) it's a standard in my house. "Soul Love" and "Rock and Roll Suicide" are my faves, but the whole thing is gold... crazy weird David Bowie.

8. - Travelling Without Moving - Jamiroquai

I had an 'experience' listening to this album - and my concequence of the substances in my body - i danced and danced and danced through this album in its entirety....three times. But is soo freakin groove-tastic. it makes you want to dance. "Virtual Insanity" or "Didjital Vibrations" if you're feeling horny saucy

9. - The Definitive Collection - Stevie Wonder

Stevie WONDER!! need i say more?? i didn't think so

10. - Mack the Knife: The Complete Ella in Berlin - Ella Fitzgerald

This is such a great album, it's the live recording of the concert Ella did in Berlin in the early 50s, just years after the Second World War... She does an amazing job... and she's just so cute. She is so freakin cute when she thanks the audience, and she tries to sing Mack the Knife and forgets some or the words but covers her ass nicely. So, check out "Mack the Knife" or "Lorelai"

11. - The Phantom of the Opera (Highlights from the 1989 Original Canadian Cast) - Cast Recording

This is the album that made me go into Music and take opera training. I just wanted to sound like Christine so badly. Check out "Music of the Night" i know, its the Phantom Stereotypical song, but i only just realized how fabulous it is in the last couple of years. when i was 12 i used to skip right past it. That and "The Point of No Return". I just love the album. it makes me cry, and to this day no other cast will compare in my mind to the original Canadian Cast.

12. - FutureSex/Lovesound - Justin Timberlake

Oh god, he's so sexy. He can do it all, he's a modern day triple threat. and almost every song on this album makes me dance. It's the only time i ever Crank up the Radio - when it's J.T. singing and being sexy. mmmmmmm....... i need a cigarette.... LOL. "Love Stoned" or "Summer Love".


13. - This Business of Art - Tegan and Sara

This is one album that i can play anytime of the day anywhere any amount. It's good, and they're super cute, and Canadian, and i'm going to see them next month. "My Number", "Freedom", "Not With You." all gold.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!







Don't forget to leave me a comment and give me the love. Cuz i love you too.

my gateway to alcoholism...

i was having a chat with my sister in law today (B-rad's brother's wife), she had just read my post about growing up Mormon. She has only ever known me as the fun loving drinking non religious woman i am today.... she was amazed to learn that Mormon's don't drink Coke* or Iced Tea... seeing how much i LOOOOOOOOVES me some Coke and Iced Tea... and Coke* and Iced Tea together (sooo tasty).

* both times i typed coke, i originally typed Cock... "Mormon's don't drink Cock".... hm...

it reminded me of a story about being a rebellious teen in my house. Before my older brother married Pam she used to come and spend the weekends at my house, as she lived about 45 minutes away on a farm... She would catch a ride to my place Friday night and then go home with her mom on Sunday after church.

She was 17 and i was 16...we would stay up late every night - and sneak out to the store and by 2L bottles of Coke and Doritos and we would fall into fits of hysterics buzzed out on the suger and the caffeine. Also, many a night would end with fried eggs and home-made-bread-toast (toasted one side at a time using the over broiler cuz our toaster was broken) made at four a.m.

So, eventually as time passed the Coke didn't cut it anymore..... Coca Cola was my gateway drug..... so we started hanging out in the local coffee shop...drinking....coffee....DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN. we would go to the coffee shop at 11, order a plate of fries and a cup of coffee. If you've ever spent time at a small town coffee shop, you know that one cup of coffee is a bottomless pit of caffeinated bean juice. we would drink cup upon cup upon cup.... and when it seemed that the waitresses were starting to get annoyed, we'd order another plate of fries, or a grilled cheese sandwhich,....whatever it took. we'd leave sometimes around six or seven.....vibrating down the street to my home.

just hook it to my veins.....

I was an anomaly in my high school - someone who didn't watch hockey, or drink beer. or drink anything. I couldn't bring myself to drink... it was scary....

Eventally Pam and my older brother started dating, and he was a rebel... he drank and smoked and partied.... i remember one wintry day - Pam and i decided enough was enough, Brent had just ran off somewhere with his friends leaving Pam behind (which was fine by me, cuz that meant i got my friend back) to get back at him we devised a brilliant plan.... we would drink Brent's last two beer that he left in his bedroom. We cleverly snuck out the bottles in our shirts and put them in the trunk of Pam's car and backed out of the driveway in pursuit of the perfect place to drink our stolen contraband.

We drove around the back roads, and we were getting into fits of giggles. we searched for any kind of place to pull of the road to drink and finally it looked like maybe there, under the feet of snow, was an approach we could park on. So, Pam pulled onto what we thought was an approach, but turned out it was ....nothing. We drove the car into the ditch. Now. Keep in mind we were two young girls who were wearing our parkas and sneakers. not necessarily the best attire for pushing a car out of the ditch. But we tried. i pushed as well as i could but the car wouldn't budge.

Eventually a kindly stranger travelled the road and found us and asked if he could help. did we have a shovel? Yes, in the trunk. Pam popped the trunk and we could hear the clanking of our stolen brewskis as the old farmer pulled the shovel out.

another truck stopped, and now there were two old farmer and two young girls trying to push Pam's old car out of the ditch.

Finally, after 45 minutes or so of pushing and sweating and cursing under our breaths, the car was free. And the first farmer asked us, as we knew he would eventually, "How on earth did you two end up in the ditch? What were you doing?"....
uhm.....

"we were lost, and trying to turn around.... and we thought there was an approach there." good one, pam.

our secret was safe....

we thanked the men and they drove away.... we followed them back to the main road. Now we were more determined than ever to drink those beer. we try another road and instead of finding an approach we found a small clutch of trees. We pulled onto the shoulder and trudged through the snow to the trees... our feet are frozen - our socks and shoes now soaked.

FINALLY we arrived, and when we were satisfied that we were far enough from the road, we pull the bootlegged bottles from the sleeves of our jackets. We were ready. Looking back it's interesting to note that we weren't concerned about being two under aged girls illegally drinking alcohol (legal age is 19 in the Skatch for my Yankee friends). We were more concerned that we were about to drink ALCOHOL!!! The church's stand on booze was more present in our thoughts.

we cracked our long necks, raised our bottles in a toast...CHEERS...and took our first taboo sips..... and swallowed......

"That's terrible!!"
"Yeah, totally gross."
"How do people even drink this stuff?"
"...i don't know."
".....are you going to finish yours?"
"....uhm........no...... i don't think so."
"me either"

in the end, after all that work, we tipped our bottles and poured out our hard won beer.

Of course, i've come a long way since then..... :)

10,000th Visitor is a Diva

To commemorate her 10K visit to her site Teeni at the Vaguetarian Tea Room offered up this sweet prize to whoever that 10kth friend happened to be.... it happened to be me. not by any stroke of luck though... it was pure perseverance.... blood, sweat, and tears!!

it's a one time only prize, and it's mine, alllll mine!! Mwahh ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa!!!

Thank you Teeni! You rock lady. i mean, like... You ROCK, lady!! not you a lady made of rock - well, you know what i mean. :D

A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words....

Erotic Scrabble, best played in teams of 2

Update:

rules for strip scrabble - thanks to B.E.Earl...

the B-rad and i thank you Earl.