Rockin' and Rollin' and whatnot...Part 2

Once upon a time, in Cowtown, i was part of a rock band called Samvega. The band members consisted of myself - lead vocals, B-rad - Guitar, my brother Patrick - Bass and back up vocals, and our friend Shaman - Drums.

B-rad and Shaman used to be in a different band before i moved out there, but the band broke up and my arrival in Cowtown coincided nicely with that incident. It seemed a match made in heaven, i could sing my little heart out - i mean, i could really belt out a tune. Patrick was living with B-rad at the time, and so it seemed to work in such a nice little package.

So. We gathered our resources and began, in earnest, to write some songs.

This is where it all came to a grinding halt.

I found writing songs to be one of the most excruciating ordeals of my entire life. It seemed that we were stuck, because i had a hard time singing lyrics that i didn't feel and so the arty/hippy lyrics that were brought to the table were hard for me to wrap my head around, and i often found myself saying: "Okay, but what does it mean?"

The easy solution to that would be, obviously, for me to write my own lyrics. This was, however, harder than it seemed, because nothing i wrote seemed to match the moods of the music they were writing.

I became more and more self-conscious of each word, each line, each phrase that i penned.

I thought maybe that the group song writing sessions put too much pressure on me, and B-rad agreed to work with me, privately. i spent many many hours, trapped in my bedroom with him while he so patiently played the guitar riffs over and over again so i could get a feel for the music and be able to come up with something that was suitable. It was almost torture, and many of these song writing 'sessions' ended in tears.

BUT it wasn't all for naught. eventually the band came up with songs that we could perform together. That part was great! again, i loved being on a stage, and singing for a crowd. I, somehow, was able to play up to my audiences and actually ROCK OUT! i did come to the realization, though, that i had no idea how to have 'rock stage presence'. in University, they trained me to walk to the centre of the stage, position myself, and then present and sing - the result of that being that my feet became firmly rooted to one position. This was a habit i had a hard time undoing on stage, but it was the general consensus that my powerful voice made up for the fact that i hardly moved.

one thing became evident, i was much better live than i was in rehearsals, and even in recording sessions.

as far as recording, it went relatively smoothly - and there exists out there in the world of my computer at home (and a few lucky hard core fans) a copy of Samvega's one and only recorded effort Soulfire.

the problem with having something concrete - is there is the need to 'follow it up'. This meant, of course, more song writing.

Time moved on, as it does, and one thing led to another, which led to our drummer wanting to pursue other activities, and for Patrick to decide to try his hand at cover bands. All that's left of the original Samvega is myself and my hubby. We don't even get to keep the original name, because if you google Samvega - you'll find there's a very suspiciously similar band - with a female front and with a 'prog' sound who have taken this name and are running very fast and hard with it, who are from somewhere in the states. (isn't that odd?)

Now, B-rad is an excellent guitar player. He comes up with some really awesome stuff, and currently there are about 4 unfinished songs - if not more - waiting for me to attach melodies and lyrics to, which as i've already mentioned, is like pulling teeth...and i have a tooth phobia.

All of this happened within the space of time that our friend Rain was on hiatus. Now, she's back with a pocket full of songs and is ready to go - fresh with ideas and inspiration, and recording those songs in my basement.

So, as much as i love my dear dear friend, it's almost a slap in the face to see someone come up with so many great songs with fantastic lyrics and melody lines that are just so so easy to sing to, when it was such a painful and emotionally difficult thing for me.

Somewhere along the way, i have lost any kind of confidence that i may have had at one point. There's this huge Slab of Writer's Block sitting on my notebook that i can't get around, it has flashing neon lights that blink: "You're Not Good Enough", "Why Do You Even Try?", and "You'll Never Be as Good at this as Rain is". Tell me that's not incentive enough to go running to the hills.

The thing is, i know that there must be SOME kind of music in me. I know that i can be more than just the Voice. But it's so god damned hard to find my writing voice, and the stuff i do write - well it just doesn't seem to 'work' with the music B-rad writes.

So now, B-rad and i, we are at an impasse. We both want to work together, but i guess the question should be not whether we want to, but whether or not we can. It's very depressing, like the end of a dream. I am torn between wanting him to go on with out me, and wanting him to grab me and say: "Never without YOU!" - knowing that having me there will make it a longer and harder journey.

So, we take it day by day; he writes music and shows me anything new. I listen, and sometimes - i hear an inkling of how it could be sung, and other times i don't. My only hope that by being such a perfectionist, we are actually creating something that is actually really good.

And i am keeping the faith alive that somewhere inside me, is a wealth of talent that is NOT singing, that i can tap into and i can make him happy. i don't want his dream to die because of me.

Rockin' and Rollin' and whatnot...Part 1

When i was a little girl of about 10 or 11, i remember standing in the kitchen next to the pantry while my mother was scuttling about making dinner, or canning peaches, or baking bread - and she was singing. I thought my mother had the most beautiful voice, like an angel. i asked her:

"mommy, why didn't you become a famous singer?"

she laughed and said:

"i didn't want to become a famous singer. i wanted to be a mommy and get married and have babies"

this didn't make any kind of sense in my little pre-adolescent mind. How could you NOT want to be a famous singer? obviously the lady can sing, soo...two and two.... i wouldn't say i decided then and there that i wanted to be a famous singer, but it definately was an event that i remember.

When i was in the 6th grade, my older brothers class went on a school trip to Cowtown to see The Phantom of the Opera. I was supremely jealous that he was going and i wasn't - he had absolutely no interest in the musicals that my mom would bring home from the Library: State Fair, Easter Parade, The King and I, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Fiddler on the Roof, The Sound of Music.

My friend's mom had been to see Phantom in Toronto a few years earlier, and she had the soundtrack on tape. I asked her if she would 'dub' me a copy. She did. I listened to it over and over and over again. I practically wore the tape out. The for Christmas that year, my mom gave me two tickets to see the Phantom in Cowtown that June. I was ecstatic. This is another significant moment in my singing career. I fell in love with the way "Christine" sang. i wanted to be her. In fact, it was one of the events in my life leading up to me applying for the College of Music after high school. Learning Opera wouldn't be so bad if i could sound like her.

At the time of grade six, my musical tastes were compiled of many wonderful assorted artists such as New Kids on the Block, Alannah Miles, Mariah Carey, Reba McIntire, Garth Brooks, The Beatles, Paula Abdul, the embarassing list goes on, but i loved loved LOVED to sing. I sang in church, i sang in school AND church choirs, i participated in the Missoula Children's Theatre two years in a row... i just loved to be in front of a crowd.

When i made the moved from BC to the Skatch in my teeny years - i found that the kids in my year were unlike any other! There were more musicians per capita in my year than in any other. When i started dating the B-rad in the ninth grade, he had just started learning to play guitar. He taught me a few little ditties - Come as You Are by Nirvana was the one i remember the most.

During my final years in high school, i worked over the summer and bought myself a guitar. I hung out more and more with the girlfriend of Dickface's best friend (who was also a dickface in his own way). we became fast friends, and it was our love of music that brought us together. her mom had an old guitar and she took to it like a duck to water. I will call her Rain.

During the dark years when B-rad and i were not dating, she and B-rad were joined in friendship by thier love of music - both loving different types, but B-rad recognized in her her amazing song writing talent. They worked together in a small town church with an old Four Track recorder and threw together her first demo tape.

Since then she's been in and around town, and she became an excellent songwriter, and she's put together an actual CD with B-rad's help.

Now, after a four year hiatus, she is writing and recording again. This brings mixed feelings to my life, as i am simulatneously happy for her, and depressed for me. as this post is already longer than i had hoped, i'll come back to this. Stay tuned.

45678

i am missing you
you, who shares my bed
this big bed seems empty
when you are not in it.

this is not the first time
this will in all liklihood
not be the last
but that doesn't make it suck
any less.

i am spoiled as a brat
when it comes to having you
i am whiney as a child
when it comes to needing you
on some level, i am deeply
annoyed by this dependency

but my superwife senses
are missing the sight of your
sleeping figure
the smell of your skin
the sound of your breathing
the touch of your hand in mine
the taste of your kiss

hurry home soon, baby
make memories
drink rye
catch fish
but be safe.
be smart
and above all
come home to me

Straight Outta Lynwood

And so...the Weird Al Concert....while i highly doubt that any concert that i ever attend in my existence will in any way measure up to the Roger Waters concert, this was - by far - the funniest and the most fun!! This may have been greatly enhanced by the Awesomeness of our seats! We were sitting, as i've mentioned, fourth row on the floor. B-rad was quite excited by the fact that he was sitting in seat 4:20. Our seats were bang on centre, i was directly in line with W.A.'s microphone!! WOOOOT.

He started off the show with the song "Polkarama!" from Straight Outta Lynwood - one of his signature polka medly of current titles on the radio. Here's a tiny clip from that song. I apologize in advance for the screaming, sometimes i just can't contain myself! I LOVE YOU WEIRD AL!!

The next song he played was, of course, "Canadian Idiot" - which is the parody of Green Day's "American Idiot". You can imagine how the stadium erupted into a frenzied fit of screams when he sang the lines: "Eat their weight in Kraft Macaroni...and Dream of driving a Zamboni...all over Sas-Skatch-Chew-WAHN!!!"

I mean, c'mon, if you don't think that Weird Al is pure genius, just go ahead and read the lyrics of this song. Go ahead, i'll wait........

....See!?!??

Some other highlights included "Bob" a song whose lyrics are compiled of random palindromes. Some of my favourites are:

Lisa Bonet ate no basil

May a moody baby doom a yam?

A Toyota's a Toyota

A dog, a panic in a pagoda

Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog

Another high point of the evening was when he played for the crowd his parody of James Blunt's "You're Beautiful". His version, of course, was called "You're Pitiful." and there's a story behind this song. here's the quick version:

Weird Al had recieved the permission to parody the song by the artist - who was thrilled as most artists are - and the song was written and recorded for the Straigh Outta Lynwood album, but at the last minute, James Blunt's label, Atlantic Records, pulled the plug saying they didn't want the song on the album - for the full story go here. in retalliation to their decision, Weird Al put the song up on his website and made the mp3 available for free downloading. Go on, go and get a copy for yourself.

Some of you may ormay not remember Al TV. It was on MTV and featured W.A. "interviewing" various starts like Eminem, Avril Lavigne, Madonna, Michael Stipe, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Celine Dion, and Justin Timberlake...but the best of these is his "interview" with KFed. Ohh Lordy. It was pure gold. you have to see it to believe it.

There is a special place in my heart for Mr. Yankovic. One of my earilest memories is of sitting in my room, i must have been about 6 or 7 with my brother - listening to "George of the Jungle". We were jumping all around the room, on the beds, off the dresser... belting at the top of our lungs. That song, off the cassette tape that we borrowed from some friends, began the long lived love affair! We had many albums memorized, i'd forgotten some of the songs i knew by heart until they were played last night. In fact, when W.A. busted out "Yoda" i freaked out! i leaned over to B-rad and told him that i never knew this was a parody of an actual song until i was at least 13 or 14. i still remember all the words.

Also, back in the fall of 98 (i think) B-rad and i had only just started dating and things were getting 'serious'... W.A. came to Saskatoon - which B-rad informed me was the last concert he went to at TCUPlace, it may have been mine too, now that i think about it... anyway, back in 98 we decided to take my little bitty brother who was about 13 to see his very first concert ever. and it was Weird Al. So when it was announced on the radio in May that the weird man would be returning to Saskatoot, i immediately called up Billiam and said: "We're Going to WEIRD AL! are you in?" and he said yes without even blinking. The best moment for me in last night's concert was when W.A. came out for his encore and sang "Albequerque". I thought Billiam would loooose it! It's only his all time fave W.A. song - it's about 17 minutes of absolute nonsense...and Billiam knows alllll the words. All of 'em. :D Here he with his lovely girlfriend 9 years later, now 6'2", and 200 lbs. My not-so-little Little Brutha.

It was a most excellent evening of laughter, singing, and rocking out.

All photos and videos were actually taken by yours truly from our fantastic seats...with the exception of the K-Fed video.

the wait is almost over...

OMG OMG OOMG OOOOMG.... it's today! it's happening today....

i've waited all this time, and he's finally here!!

Weird Al, i'll be seeing YOU tonight!!

let's make music together...

Just a little ditty to bring us up out of that really uneccesarily long post about harry. For all my old school 8 bit peeps out there. booyah.

I so desperately want to join this choir.

A Tale of Potter Preportions.

When B-rad and i were dating, he always knew i was a big reader. But, not having lived together, he didn't know what that meant, exactly.

I moved to Cowtown back in June, 2003. The fifth installment of the Harry Potter Franchise was released in July, 2003. My mother, living in ToonTown, sent me the book for my birthday and when i got it in my happy little hands, i began to read in earnest. Never before had B-rad seen me completely engulfed by a book.

We were living in an upstairs suite of a house with my brother at the time, so there weren't a lot of places to read peacefully. So i did what i've always done growing up in a house with 3 brothers, i retreated to my room, now B-rad's and my room, and read like a maniac. He couldn't understand it. He couldn't understand why i had burrowed myself in and only emerged to grab a bite and go to the bathroom. Finally, after a good solid 10-12 hours of reading i was done. when B-rad came to bed that night we was upset. He thought i was mad at him (i wasn't) and he couldn't figure out why. I explained to him that it wasn't my fault, it was the book. i just couldn't put it down.

i remembered something my mother had said about when she and my dad first got married. She couldn't believe how much he would read, he would always have a book on hand - in bed, watching tv, on the toilet, in the bath... she said in the first year they would fight all the time because my dad would read so much. Growing up, we saw Dad with his nose constantly in a book and by his example 3 out of 4 of us became avid readers...but i was the real honest to goodness bookworm in my family. Mom - well, she wasn't interested in reading like he was and felt that he was ignoring her or wasn't interested in her.

B-rad was not a reader of books. The only place he ever read was on the shitter (which we have now dubbed in our new house The Library) and he couldn't fathom someone spending more than 5-10 minutes tops reading anything. I tried to convince him to read Harry Potter, but he wasn't interested. So, i told him i understood that he was feeling ignored and unimportant, and that i would try not to delve into the land of fiction like my dad did...but in return he'd have to excuse me if it was Harry Potter.

In 2004 we went to see third movie, and that's when B-rad decided to give the books a try. "i'm not starting at the beginning, though, i'll just start at Book 4" that was fine by me. So, B-rad joined the world of evergrowing HPFans. Before i knew it, i was finding him reading outside the bathroom. i did give him a tiny bit of a hard time saying i couldn't understand why he'd want to read for more that 5-10 minutes, but i only gave him a tiny taste - not wanting him to be discouraged. Soon after he finished the fourth book, he asked to read the 5th and i gladly handed it over to him.

The fifth book, in my opinion (and B-rad's) is the best of all seven.

But i digress.

So B-rad was captivated by litte Master Potter and his Wizarding world. He took to the 5th book with even more enthusiasm than the fourth and he found himself reading it for hours at a time.

When the 6th book came out i read it like mad and then handed it off to my eagerly awaiting husband. and when he was done we both spent the next couple of years speculating what the outcome of the series might be. We both had various thoughts and theories about what would happen in the last pages. We were excited, like the rest of the millions of people in the world. We couldn't wait.

Now. here's what i inteded to write about in the first place:

The Seventh Book was release one minute after midnight and i was there standing in line - ready for my copy. I am not ashamed to say that i may have butted in line to get my copy. As i have always maintained: "I am not above pushing away a small child, if it comes to it, to get my copy!" luckily, the good people at McNally Robinson had a huge supply of books and ample supply of staff to pass them out to the awaiting throng of Pot(ter)heads.


i tried to read it that night, but i was so exhausted i read the first 3 pages and fell asleep. The next morning we were off to the lake! I told B-rad that if we went to the lake i wouldn't bring the book with me...but as we were leaving he said: "you can bring your book, it was wrong of me to say you couldn't. You can spend your time on the beach any way you want." WHOOPEE.

So i read the book on the way to the lake...but once we were there we were too busy to read anymore...so i read on the way home. In the first stages of the book, it's okay to put it down.
Sunday night i read more and was halfway through the book. B-rad was on the computer most of the time and he didn't even notice. Monday was spent reading, and around supper time i was about 2cm (that's a little less than an inch for my American Friends) thickness from the end and B-rad comes home from work. I say hello. He sits down and he tells me about his day. I tell him that i'm going to go upstairs and finish the book while he's in the shower and he says: "oh, i thought maybe you might want to make me supper while i'm in the shower?" uhm, what? grrrr....okay....fine.

So i ask him what he wants and he says he doesn't care, anything i want to make will be fine. Now, i don't like to cook on a good day, and i hate cooking when i'm not hungry cuz i could care less about eating. Harry's adventures, sitting in my lap, are calling me back and this whole conversation with my husband is making me rather annoyed. So i put my nose back in the book and say: "Well, when you decide what you want, let me know." which, i thought, was a pretty clear message.

He comes back in the room and says: "i don't know, what do we have?"
"I don't know, probably nothing."
i can hear him in the kitchen, opening the fridge.... muttering possibilities to himself, so with a big sigh, i put the book down and walk in the kitchen. The only way i'm going to get any reading done is if he gets his ass in the shower. I walk up to the pantry and grab 2 packages of instant noodles and say: "Go shower."

He does.

as the noodles are cooking, i'm reading the book.

things are getting intense in the wizarding world. Somehow i manage not to burn supper, When he's showered and dressed he comes down singing, oblivious to the peril of my beloved characters. he has no idea how annoying he is. The phone rings, i ignore it and he answers. He chats with his cousin while i make myself a little plate and leave the rest of the food on the stove for B-rad. i decide to sit at the table instead of in the Rumpus room in front of the TV where we usually eat so i can read, he gets off the phone, dishes himself a plate and sits next to me at the table. Grrrrr..... i lift the book to my face and i'm almost whisked away to the very exciting ending of the book and i hear: "oh, don't you want to have a nice supper with me and visit?"

what. the. fuck.

Every other goddamned day of the year he's perfectly fine eating in front of the TV - which is why i chose the table in the first place - and NOW he decides he wants to be Ozzie and Fucking Harriet?? He was just as excited about the seventh book as i was... and now he wants to sit...and visit? It's Harry Potter for Chrissakes.


"fine." i say through gritted teeth. i put the book down and he says;

"You can read if you want to."

"no. no. that's fine."


we eat in almost complete silence.


Finally i say to him:
"y'know what this is like? it's like watching the final Matrix movie, and right at the very end when all the shit's going down, i say to you - can you pause it? i thought you might like to just sit and talk for awhile. Now, i'm going upstairs and i'm not coming down again until this book is done. Don't come up there to talk to me, cuz i'll ignore you. Okay?"


Upstairs, in my bedroom sanctuary that has served me since i was six, i finish Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. i walk down the stairs and hand him the book and say: "It's all yours now."


Oh, he'll get his....when he's about 4 chapters from the end.... i'm going to ask him to sit and visit with me. Let's see how HE likes it... mwahh ha ha ha haaaaaa

Oh, MY Poutine we stand on Guard forrrrr Theeeeeee!

POUTINE... is there anything on this planet more delicious than you?

My older brother once told me that there was nothing you could find to eat that wouldn't taste better wrapped in bacon. Now, i love bacon, and while he may be on to something there, i may be more inclined to say that there's nothing you can find to eat that wouldn't taste better smothered in gravy and cheese. mmmm....gravy.....cheeese......

now, i suppose my brother and i could argue about this, but i say.... let's throw some bacon on the poutine and call it even.

Poutine is technically pronounced Pou-stin by the French. Actually, it's very hard to write out the proper pronunciation of this delectable dish! Pouh-steain? puu'stahn? man, unless you actually know a french Canadian...it's hard to imagine the sound of the "tine" part of poutine. So, for all intents and purposes on my blog? you can pronounce it....POOH-TEEN.Like a teenage Cubbly little Tubby ol' Bear.

although delicious when smothered in cheese and gravy, not a poutine

Not to be confused with this Putin - who's name, apparently, when translated into French is spelled Poutine.

In communist Russia, Poutine eats You!

Also not to be confused with Poo-stain, which luckily for YOU i was unable to find a photo on Google of the kind of racing stripe worthy enough to be on my blog. - whoah. that's a sentence i never thought i'd write.

At one time the only place you could get a poutine was at the Greasy Spoon in your hometown, or at truck stops. Over the years, the Poutine has infiltrated the American fast food chains! You can now buy Poutine at Burger King (mmmmm), KFC, A&W, McDonalds for a while, it's gone now...and yes, even New York Fries. (Their poutine is very tasty)

Poutine is a standard staple of life up here in the Great White North, along with Back Bacon, Maple Syrup, Beer, and Crullers....

I'd like to thank the academy...

This weekend i was awarded my very first blogger award! Teeni over at Vaguetarian Tearoom has awarded yours truly with the Power of Schmooze award! She has been enslaved by my power to liquidate the languid languishings of the lavish latin language of love. ...i have no idea what i just wrote there....moving on!!

anyway, thank you Teeni, my new blogger friend, for this prestigious award. if you'd like to see what nice things she had to say about me, you can go here to check it out. or just to say hi, she's very friendly.

You should also go here to visit the creator of this fabulous award that i have been blessed with receiving.

Here are the rules:

The participation rules are simple:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs of people that you think are great schmoozers, conversationalists, or commentors

2. Link to original post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme and receive their award,

3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Schmoozer Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote.

And now...the fun part.... annnd the award, for Power of Schmooze award goes tooo.......

Saviabella - Savia enjoys discussions with the Queen of Englnad about why the monarchy sucks, long walks on the beach with her slutty pornstar puppy, and enjoys careers that aren't afraid to be thrown down on the ground and ninjafucked. When she's not roaming around in dumpsters looking for free art she can be found flossing her perfect smile in the bars of her home town. Savia first won my heart years ago when she bitch slapped me into submission by sending me all kinds of internet loves and basically luring me to her spider's web one blog comment at a time... i've been happily stuck on her web ever since.

Abigail Road - it's unclear to me whether she wandered into my little corner of the interwebs, or if i wandered into hers. The fact remains that this is one lady that i am dying to drink beer with sometime, and soon i hope. She is funny and can turn a phrase into a sentence, ifyouknowwhatimean... plus she continually tags me in memes, and i like memes...i'm all crazy like that...and stuff...LOVE ON YA

Schmutzie - she can make anything interesting. her posts are witty and beautiful, as well her her poetry. Who knows what she'll post next, a thumb print cartoon, a photo, a video, a song, a rant? Every day is an adventure over in Schmutzieville, and if you like, you can hop on over and vote for her in the "Help me Blog for a Year" contest. She's great, and is also on my list of those with whom i would like to consume beer.

That Girl Who Blogs Stuff - this lady is new on my reading list. Check it out, it's good stuff over there. Not only that, but she is also currently blogsitting for Saviabella while she wanders the streets of Italy. I mean, That Girl is not only capable of making me laugh out loud on her own blog, but she's been able to keep the zaniness afloat over in Savia's space. I am in awe over her blogging superpowers! Really! i'm in it, and it's all over my shoes, and it's starting to smell kinda funny.

There's Something About Nano - You can learn everything you need to know about guys but were afraid to ask over here in Nanotown. Or girls. Or Knocking Boots, or Poop. There is no subject too sacred for this dude! i hear tell he's cute too, mind you this is of his own proclamation, so take heed. Check out his post on the Unit or on Nano's Guide to Lying. It's pure gold i tells ya.

So that's it! them's the five bloggers who i find schmooziful! WOOT!

Now, as far as i know, there's no button floating around for this award, so i just posted the pic and i'm gonna have to try and find out some kind of linking mechanism, perhaps if i adjust the intake valve and reboot the flux capacitor... it's a work in progress. if you have an easier way of going about this, please don't be afraid to share your knowledge with me. i'll love you forever, and will give you a cookie!*

*cookie not included.