The Future is closer than you think...DAMMIT!!!

how much longer do you think it will take before corporations are projecting advertising directly to the back our eyelids, and injecting our dreams with 30 second clips of icky-happy families driving icky-happy minivans to their daughter/son's soccer games while drinking $prite and eating Mcdonalds?

sadly, i think the future is closer than any of us suspected.

i recall one of my first days on campus during my stint as a University student, walking into the ladies room and going into a stall and being subjected to poster-images of perilously high stilettos from a store I'd never heard of, but where out of my price range (being a student, and all) and poster-images of happy couples skiing in Whistler (also out of my price range)... and looking down to see that these images were brought to me by ~Captive Audience Advertising~... i was offended that the most private of private places was now being sold as advertising real estate. I mean, for GOD SAKES I'm trying to pee here! it used to be that if you were sick of being bombarded by imagery for sale, the teeming masses, or one person in particular... you could always retreat to the loo and have a bit or respite. Not so anymore.

One step further to that is when i encountered the flat screen televisions next to the electric hand dryers in the public washrooms in the Chinook Centre Mall in Calgary. Now not only were my eyes under attack, i couldn't even look away because these...had SOUND....

Even the one place we thought was safe from Television commercials - the movie theatres - has been infiltrated! Not only do i have to sit through 10 minutes of trailers before my movie starts, i have to sit through 5-8 minutes of TELEVISION COMMERCIALS before the trailer starts... and even Before THAT i have to sit through 10-20 minutes of useless trivia, adverts for the Concession stand that i already walked past, and advertising for the Movie Trailers that I'm about to see. - i realize that i could avoid this by not arriving to the theatre until 10 minutes after the showtime, but I'm all about getting the 'good seats'.

it's enough to make you want to go screaming into the mountains and become a hermit - living off the fruits or your labour and your prowess as a marksman.

Anyway, what brings me to rant about this? on the way to work this morning - i happened to be listening to the radio, which i almost never do, when i heard today's edition of "Coffee Talk" by Vic Dubois. This is what he said:

In case you missed it, the regulatory body for broadcasting in this country, the Canadian Radio- Television and Telecommunications Commission, CRTC for short, is changing the way it regulates conventional television in this country and you might be interested to note some of the changes.

For example, by August 31st, 2011, all television licensees will be required to only broadcast digital signals. Another new regulation states that all tv broadcasters must caption for the hearing impaired 100% of all programs throughout the 18 hour broadcast day, which is classified as 6am to midnight, with the exception of promotions and advertising. Speaking of advertising, and this is the biggest news, they are going to remove restrictions on advertising time limits after a period during which they will gradually increase the amount of advertising allowed. What does that mean, exactly? Well, right now, TV is restricted to 12 minutes of ads per hour. Hour-long shows such as CSI, 24, or Lost are actually about 45 minutes long with the 12 minutes of commercials and some promo ads for other programs filling up the remaining time. The commercial restrictions will be gradually eased to allow up to 20 minutes per hour by 2009 and then, as we understand it, restrictions will be lifted all together to let market forced determine how many commercials we will watch in a given hour. This should be interesting. How much is too much? We may be able to find out.

That's Coffeetalk. I'm Vic Dubois

uhm....excuse me?? EXCUSE ME??? They're taking the reins off! They're opening the gates and releasing the hounds... We'll let the MARKET decide how much advertising is too much?? That's like letting a 6 year old decide how much is TOO much ice cream. They'll just keep eating it until their stomach explodes

Is anyone else as annoyed by this as i am? by the year 2011 our favourite programs will be reduced to 15 minutes of show and 45 minutes of ads. Soon we'll have to pay for "Commercial Free Programming" like $irius radio, but wait...aren't i ALREADY paying for these channels? yes, i believe i am.

I'm heading for the mountains....who's coming with me?

focus on something....anything...

On days like today, when the weather is finally nice after almost a week of rain, i find it really hard to focus. In fact, i have attempted several times to write something today... it's just not happening, so yes - i am falling back on the meme. I know, i know...didn't i JUST DO A MEME? yes, i did. i just need focus lately. Give me a topic and I'll write about it. That's an open invitation.

Anyway, there's five questions, and i answered them. There will be no tagging involved here because i wasn't tagged, i actually went in search of a meme to do today... GASP! With all the millions of them out there being passed around like a VD at a hippy music festival, i went out and tracked one down myself. sigh.

here goes.

1 - Why did you decide to start a blog?
Honestly, it wasn't too much of a leap from pen and paper to keyboard and monitor. I had been journalling since i was ten, and like most people i know, i can type faster than i can write. It seemed a faster, more efficient, and LEGIBLE way to go about things.

My very first attempt at blogging was on the Degrassi High Next Generation website. There, i said it. I had one reader. The friend who introduced me to the website and said: "hey, you should sign up here too!" [Laura waves happily at Jasmine!!] Most of the other bloggers on the site were 13 year old girls who all typed in LEETspeak. [thanks to Deron who explained that there was actually a name for that kind of thing] They also had a horribly blatant disregard to things like proper grammar and comma usage. Luckily - only a few months after starting with Degrassi, i was introduced (by Mika) to the phenomenon that was/is DIARYLAND. There i had a blog for several years. It was a good first step to blogging where i learned the very basics of HTML and linking and stuff like that. I made the move to blogspot just last year when i was sick of trying to upload pictures on Diaryland and being told i had to pay for it. Dammit, i wanted it for FREE. Well, it's been working out quite nicely. i foresee a move to my own dot-com domain sometime in the future. we'll see.

Having a public forum to voice my opinion and just to keep my brain from going numb at school were a few of the initial reasons for my start into blogging. Once i made the move to Diaryland and got my first reader's comment in my guestbook - i suddenly realized i had an audience, albeit a small one. (WOO - 150 points for using albeit in a sentence!!) As i continued blogging I began reading other blogs. i have made some great friends through the power of the blog. I've even gained a few faithful readers. But even with the knowledge of people reading what i was putting up here, i still - for the most part - blog for selfish reasons. I like to write. I like to turn a phrase if you will. I know i will. so you should too.

2. - How do you balance motherhood with blogging?
If by motherhood you mean cat ownership, i don't find it to be in much need of balancing. I'm pretty certain that nobody wants to hear about my crazy felines and how oh so freakin-cute and cuddly they are. Then i would be one of those weird 'cat people'... the kind who live in small basement apartments and read comics, watch anime, and play role playing games.

**i want to go on the record saying right here and now that i have nothing against any of these things. I, myself, have been known to read a comic or two. And i don't mind some Anime like the original Japanese Sailor Moon, or Ranma 1/2. And i have played my share of RPGs, like there was this really awesome one for SuperNintendo called "earthbound" or something like that. All the characters looked like little Fisher Price People, even the Villains.

I'm thinking of one particular girl from high school who would pretend she was a cat on her front lawn - at age 17. If she had a blog, I'm sure it'd be about her cat(s).

3. What is your Top Pet Peeve?
Biggest pet peeve, it's so hard to narrow it down...but i'd say it's signalling. For some reason (and i've ranted about this before) people in The Skatch promptly forget what the signal light is fore the minute they get their license.

4. What is one thing about yourself you are trying to change?
One thing i'm trying to change, aside from weight, body image, and health (which i see as ongoing struggles) is confidence in my ability to write. Specifically, music. Lyrics, vocals, the works. I feel that somewhere inside me is a deep well where all my musical creativity lies - but the rope for my bucket isn't quite long enough yet.

5. How do you unwind when the stress of daily life gets to you?
i read. i escape into a book. a story where the characters don't have to deal with whatever i'm dealing with. I really find that this helps to unwind me when i'm spun. I tend to overthink...oh...everything. So, being able to shut my brain off for an hour or two is so very very nice. TV does the same thing.

photos to look at

So, here is my first attempt at a masthead. it doesn't look too bad...Hopefully i'll get better as i go.

Anyway, i just got back from my ceramics class and i wanted to show you a few of my finished projects...

here's a few pics for you to look at...

First we have Mr. Mozart. i have been known to say on many occasions that Mozart makes me hot. In this case, it was true. There was a lot of vigorous finger rubbing before i could declare him finished. He's pretty nifty and he lives on my piano, in this picture, he's sitting in front of the computer speakers - he's listening to Tool. I knew he'd listen to Tool if he had the chance. Wolfie...

This here is Walter, the Walrus. I found out today that i had actually made the Mother Walrus, therefore making Walter a somewhat gender confused walrus. But i'm okay with that, don't worry Walter, i love you anyway.



and in addition to the gender confused walrus, i have also made Garry the Disco Snail. He's all glittery and shiny and ready to dance dance dance the night away in my flower beds - where Bruce the Gnome currently resides. I foresee them becoming fast friends, and bosom buddies.

already i can see myself hollering from the front step - hair in curlers, and housecoat in disarray: "Keep it down, you young hoolligans, you! People have to sleep around here. We don't need to hear your hippedy hop music and your dance dance video games and such!"

it's a good life.

the infamous meme of 8

okay, well, i have now been tagged by saviabella AND abigailroad. So who am i to NOT play along when there's a meme to be had.

The rules are:
Each player creates a list of eight random personal facts/habits.
At the end of your post, list eight people who you want to tag to also do this meme.
People who are tagged will post these rules and write their own list of eight personal facts/habits

Here's the facts:

• i wear a moonstone on my right hand because it's pretty, but also because i actually believe in the power of crystals. I am aware how new agey and hippy this makes me look, but if carrying around rocks in my pocket makes me feel empowered, then that can't be bad, right?
• i think my best features are my eyes, and my laugh.
• i have many secret crushes. some that are really real, and some that are just fun. Only i know which is which
• When i was 10 i wrote a very angry letter to my dad, and also to my grade four best friend. I still have them somewhere, luckily i had the wisdom NOT to send them. I think, in my letter to my dad i actually used the word FUCK. i had never uttered that word out loud, i was barely brave enough to spell it with my big loopy fourth grade hand writing. if i can find it, i'll scan it and post it here.
• i have been keeping a journal since i was 10 years old. Some of the things i've written are hilarious now. But so heartfelt and angsty then. i have a box of them in my crawl space, i believe the really early stuff is at my parent's.
• My first experience with outdoor nudity happened when i was around 12 or 13 on the farm, i went for a walk in the fields, it was a beautiful sunny day, and i decided to see what it felt like to feel the sun all over my body. It was fabulous - the sun, the wind...i didn't do it for very long cuz i was terrified someone would find me. but i still remember it to this day. I had a little bit o' that when i went topless in Mexico - only there were a lot of strangers around, instead of being all alone....
• my first memory as a kid is getting one of those big barbie heads, when i was around 3 years old, that you practice makeup and hair on, and losing the eye makeup brush down the vent - and crying because i had just gotten it and now the scary vent monster was eating it. Trauma.
• i have always imagined what it would be like to know me. I always wonder if i'd be my own friend.

Okay, here's the tag part:

Hello from Here

James

Melsie

Original Brandywine

Scrapedgrace - even though i know you won't do it...

Kate

Paige Stanton - i know you don't have a blog, but you should do this one anyway.

As Milli Vanilli would say....

The last few days have been just blah. i'm in a funk, and not the cool kind with the wicked bass lines and brass section.

I am feeling many things today, some of which are: Inadequate, Uninspired, Uncreative, untalented, among other things that start with "un".

I could sure use some sushine today. These clouds and this weather is really wearing me down. I don't like it.

Y'know, it feels like there's all this stuff inside me - waiting to get out, looking for some kind of outlet, and yet when it comes to the surface, it's such a fucking let down.

This post is lame. sorry.

Something i Never Thought i'd ever say...EVER...

"yes, the Def Leppard drummer kicks copious amounts of buttocks"

those words came out of my mouth.

My Mother's Day!

Dear Mom,

Saturday you competed in your first ever triathlon! B-rad and i were there to cheer you on, early in the morning! I was so proud of you. We both were and are.

Considering a little over a year ago - We almost lost you to a terrible case of pneumonia.

it's hard to think back and see you in that hospital bed, spending Christmas day in the intensive care - all five of us crammed around you trying to be cheerful and festive, hearing your rattling breath barely wheezing in and out of you by help of oxygen machines. Not knowing whether or not this is the end for you. Never realizing how much we all love her and appreciate everything you've ever done for us.

We tried to make your room more festive, but let's be honest, there's only so much you can do with a hospital room. We brought in B-rad's guitar and sang you christmas carols. You smiled weakly and tried not to pass out, and when you did, it was okay. We just kept singing.

I remember walking in to visit you and seeing dad sitting next to you in a chair, reading a book. I realized he had spent most of the day with you, he was still in his work clothes, coming in before his shift - and returning afterwards. It didn't matter to him that you only woke up once in a while to ask for water. What else could he do but be there? I imagine he was probably going crazy, and trying desperately not to show it.

I have to admit, i became achingly aware that you lost your father at about my age. I couldn't imagine what this must have been like for you and for Grandma and for your brothers and sister. I wanted to keep living in ignorant bliss that you and dad will both be around forever and i'll never have to go through losing you. This was a hard thing for me to see, you so frail and weak. a good dose of reality.

We all knew you were very sick. And that the doctors didn't know why you weren't getting better. But we were shocked when dad told us later that year, when you had recovered, that you were very very close to leaving us forever. The doctors had told him he should spend as much time with you because you weren't improving and they didn't know how much longer you could survive this way.

But then, it seemed that in the very last minute, they discovered that the reason you couldn't breathe was because your chest cavity was slowly filling with Pneumonic Fluid, but because it was behind your lungs, they didn't catch it in an x-ray. Once they discovered it, they punctured you immediately and began draining your spent body of the culprit that was crushing your lungs. You drained over 2 litres in the first little bit, and continued draining for sometime afterwards.

In the end, you passed with flying colours! You recovered and we were all relieved, we could all let go of our breaths that we had been collectively holding for the entire holiday. You're not beat yet. And i am so ecstatic that you will be here for the many moments in my life that i want and NEED to share with you. Like the day i'll be able to tell you i'm having a baby, and having you there with me, and getting advice from you, and then not taking it. :D there are so many more memories that you have to be there for. It seems that it's just been in the last few years that we've started to get really close, i'm really glad about that...it'd be lonely with out you.

Maybe your triathlon was a result of this episode, maybe it's a result of you turning 50 next year. But when you told us all you were competing in a traithlon, i was shocked. Imagine what it feels like to see your mother go from a woman who couldn't breathe well enough do it on her own go to someone who Swam, Cycled and RAN and lived to tell the tale!

When i made that sign, the one that said: "My Mom Kicks Your Mom's ACE" i meant it. You totally kicked ass. You rocked, and you rolled!

You competed on my birthday. My birthday has always been very close, if not on, Mother's day. So i had no problem giving my day to you.

It was all totally about you, and coming from me, that says a lot.

I cheered loud and strong, at every event - waving my sign in the air. I wanted everyone around us to know that you kick ass. And that we were so very proud of you.

and yes, mom. I will do this competition with you next year.

You're my Hero.

Love Laura

Still in recovery

it's been a busy couple of days, so i haven't had time to do any posting about ...well, the last couple of days. So, in the interim (WOO, i used interim in a sentence? i get 100 points!) you should all go over to read Something About Nano's Interview with God.

Praise Grand Master Flash.

Cheers.

Happy Birthday To Me....

Today i turn my favourite number. 27.

it's gonna be a good year...

party starts soon....


will post pics!

Laura

Professional-esque correspondance...

Subject: Work is boring....
Dear Laura,

Are you busy today?

I have phone calls to make but I don't like doing it so early, I'll wait until after coffee...

Paige Stanton

Subject: Your Application has Been denied

Dear Paige Stanton,

thank you for your application entitled "Things to do on a Spring Day" - it is currently under review.

Here is a list of things we could be doing if we weren’t at work:

1. Painting garden gnomes, and walruses…
   
2. Reading good books in the sun – you read the DaVinci Code and I’ll read
   Eragon.
   
3. Drinking margaritas
   
4. Gardening
   
5. Mowing the lawn – gah…maybe not.
   
6. Riding bikes, if it weren’t for my fear of breaking my face
   
7. Flying a kite – except it doesn’t really look very windy
   
8. Walking along the river
   
9. Learning to paint with water colours
   
10. Painting on the river bank – once we learned how to paint with water colours, of course.
    
11. Walking your puppy
    
12. Spontaneously breaking into a 70s song and dance routine, a la “age of
    aquarius” from Forty Year Old Virgin in the park
    
13. Playing hopscotch or double dutch – we’d need a third person for that one
    
14. Educating each other on the merits of Collective Soul…and Bjork.
    
15. Arguing over Collective Soul and Bjork.
    
16. Writing in our journals about how much we love/hate Collective Soul/Bjork
    
17. Drinking mochaccinos on a busy street and watching the people walk by…and
    then making fun of them
    
18. Checking out the Mendall Art Gallery
    

So, this is my
proposal, that we all run out of our offices and play in the sun. Clothing
optional.

Any thoughts?
Paige Stanton

Subject: Re:Your Application has Been denied

Ms Harms,

Please provide a detailed explanation as to why my application has been denied, I have written my comments next to yours below.

Not so Sincerely,
Paige Stanton

1. Painting garden gnomes, and walruses…
   
2. Reading good books in the sun – you read the DaVinci Code and I’ll read Eragon.
   
3. Drinking margaritas or bubble tea or spend the afternoon on your deck researching and developing new summer drinks...
   
4. Gardening
   
5. Mowing the lawn – gah…maybe not.
   
6. Riding bikes, if it weren’t for my fear of breaking my face I could pull you in one of those covered wagons...
   
7. Flying a kite – except it doesn’t really look very windy
   
8. Walking along the river
   
9. Learning to paint with water colours
   
10. Painting on the river bank – once we learned how to paint with water colours, of course.
    
11. Walking your puppy
    
12. Spontaneously breaking into a 70s song and dance routine, a la “age of aquarius” from Forty Year Old Virgin in the park - after that we could learn how the Napoleon Dynomite dance...
    
13. Playing hopscotch or double dutch – we’d need a third person for that one we could learn how to tight rope walk, sometimes those busker type people are in the park, they could show us...
    
14. Educating each other on the merits of Collective Soul…and Bjork.
    
15. Arguing over Collective Soul and Bjork.
    
16. Writing in our journals about how much we love/hate Collective Soul/Bjork
    
17. Drinking mochaccinos on a busy street and watching the people walk by…and then making fun of them
    
18. Checking out the Mendall Art Gallery - I totally want to do this one day... and the plants...
    
19. eating chocolate cake and watching the clouds go by
    
20. go for a walk downtown, checking out all the cool stores...
    
21. go for a ride on the Saskatoon Princess down the river
    
22. develop plot outline for our November novel.
    
23. eat a cinnamon bun at Dutch Growers b/c they are heavenly there.... Like a Cinabon in Calgary...
    
24. go on a road trip to get a Cinabon Cinnamon Bun... (with our feet hanging out of the car windows and lots of trashy magazines and fruit juices...)

Subject: Re:Re:Your Application has Been denied

Ms Stanton,
Your amendments and additions to the Grant Activities have gone to committee for review.

It has been decided that not all parties involved need to partake in the Bubble Tea activity (ammended item iii), because afore mentioned beverage makes certain parties throat feel all wobbly and causes feelings of nausea.

Upon careful reassessment of your Application, we have decided to grant you funding – on the basis that your partner in crime is included in all said activities.

Thank you again for our interest in this Grant.

Cordially,
Laura Harms
Administrative Slackoff
Saskatoon Office of
General Buffoonery

Subject: Re:Re:Re:Your Application has Been denied

Laura,

Thank you for your consideration on this matter. I am very grateful to be presented with this opportunity and wish to extend my gratitude.

Yours in Tomfoolery,
Paige K. Stanton, B.S.
Shenanigans Are Our Specialty

Letter To B-man

Dear B-rad,

i just wanted to say that I really really like you, like, more than a friend...y'know? like in that way....

i remember back in the ninth grade, we were both so young - only babies... and it was around this time of year, just around my birthday, when we had our very first kiss. I never would have guessed 12 years later that your lips would still be the lips i was kissing.

I remember, you were shorter than me. You were on your bike, but standing so your feet touched the ground. We were standing in my parent's back yard, next to the garage, and from what i remember, we had just been at a ball game, possible one you were umping for? Anyway, we were standing there for a while, and finally - the moment came and we leaned in to each other.

i remember thinking that your lips were so full and soft, and after the first initial moments, when the tongue came into play, there was just that perfect amount of moisture. Not slobbery, like many 15 years olds can be on their first kiss... it was really nice. Then, you lost your balance on your bike and fell into me. The perfect first kiss.

Even after we were no longer dating (i call those years the 'lost years') i compared every single kiss i ever had with that first kiss with you.

After graduation, when we were on the couch in your parents' basement...you kissed me again and i was transported to that moment. it was perfect.

Sometimes, even today, when we're kissing - you'll pull away from me and say with a smile: "mmm, you taste like Grade Nine." Sometimes, i know exactly what you mean. And it's not anything out of the ordinary, like strawberry bubblegum or anything like that... but there are moments when our kisses taste like grade nine kisses. i've tasted it too. I find that to be so amazing.

i was chatting with someone, lately, about having to take Pre-Marital courses. I told her that my Dad married us, and that he offered to give us the classes but he said he didn't think we particularly needed it - mostly because we'd already been through so many things and so many ups and downs and we're still together. i mean, if you think about it, even when we were on again/off again we were still mostly on... We've only been married for 2 1/2, but we've been together almost 9 years.

Going through those rough spots helped us learn how to fight - something we didn't do much of but it was a very valuable skill to learn, and the distance really helped us learn how to communicate. It also helped us get to that point for me where living apart was more painful than leaving my life behind.

I love you. I know you know. I know you know I know. but i like to say it. i do.

Love Wifey.



PS.... GGRnR2U