TT#15 - We Can't Go On Together...with Suspicious Memes

What's this?? i have been tagged in a meme?? it's true! The fantastic Abigailroad has tagged me thus. I am also using this as my Thursday Thirteen - yes, i know it's Wednesday but we'll all just deal okay? thanks.

The Rules:

• Write a list of things of which you are suspicious. Any number of them will do. Even the number 0 works. This is the first meme that can be done without even doing it. In fact, you're doing it right now.
  
• Include the list of rules, if you feel like it.
  
• Link back to the person who tagged you. Or not.
  
• Tag however many people you want to tag. You can skip this step.
  
• If you acted on rule four, leave comments on their websites to let them know that they have been tagged. This step is also completely optional.
  
• Feel fantastic.
  

OKAY.
now. what makes me suspicious?? in no particular order:

1. - Eye Contact that's right, eye contact. I don't mind having a conversation and making occaisional eye contact with you, but if you're the type of person who is staring me down the entire time, i start to wonder if you have a partner in crime who is helping you pick pocket the CRAP out of me. I want to look away,....but i can't!

2. - When i'm driving home and night, and there's that ONE car that is following me! I change lanes, it changes lanes. I turn left, it turns left. i start going through my list of nemeses to see who could possibly have it in for me, constantly watching the rearview mirror...ohhh lordy....it's still there, it's still following me! oh my god oh my god oh my-...oh. They just turned right? hm. i guess they weren't following me afterall.

3. - My doorbell. Why is it ringing? Am i expecting someone? who's outside? do i really have to open the door? cuz once i do - i've committed to talking to this person. i know off the bat it's one of a few things - the JW's, Politicians, Sports Teams Bottle Drives, or the Mormon Missionaries. Mostly, i dread talking to the missionaries - probably because i know what they're going to tell me before they say anything, so i have to find a polite way of cutting them off and telling them that a.) i know what they're all about, b.) i grew up mormon, c.) i don't go to church because i don't believe in religion, and c.) do you know the Bishop? you do? Yeah, that's my dad. that's always a fun moment, watching the realization sink in their 18 year old brains. i hate that doorbell.

4. - People who Give me Stuff for No Good Reason "Here, take it!" Why? What's wrong with it? What did you do to it? Are you trying to sell me something? What will happen when i take it? What do you expect from me? WHAT WHAT WHHAAAAAT!?!?!??

5. - Mechanics Until i married into B-rad's family (with plenty of mechanical minded men) there was NO WAY you could get me to talk to a mechanic, because i knew that if i did - they would take one look at my car covered in stickers, my hair in pigtails, and the amount of Beenie Babies in my back seat and charge me 4 Million Dollars to change my sparkplugs. Fuckers.

6. - Surprises i hate them. i'm the worst for surprises. When someone says: "You'll find out" or "Wait and see" i go berserk... what are plotting against me? How are you planning to make me look like a fool? when someone knowingly withholds information.... i just KNOW they're planning my demise.

7. - When people stop talking as i enter the room. it may be completely innocent and a result of perfect timing, but i still can't shake the feeling that you were JUST talking about me.

8. - Purchase Replacement Plans and Extended Warrantees why? what are you saying? that i'm purchasing a piece of junk? Also, should i end up using my extended warrantee, how will you manage to fuck me over....FUTURE$HOP!!!

9. - People who don't like Music yeah, have you met one of these people? You ask: "So, what kind of music do you listen to?" and they answer: "oh, i don't listen to music." GAH! They are the undead! Or Robots!! what the FUCK do you mean you don't listen to music?!? Have you no soul? seriously, i think these people have no souls.

10. - The words: "Can you Do me a Favour?" or "Are you Busy?" These phrases never end in something i want to do, but always leave me feeling like i have to do it.....so my suspicion lies in: "Why? Why can't YOU do it? Why do you want ME to do it??" Can i do you a favour - probably. Now i answer that with: "It depends entirely on what it is"... and as far as "Are you Busy?" well, i just hate that question all together because i'm either a.) really busy and i'm suspicious you will add to my 'to-do' list...or b.) i'm not busy because i just hauled ass to catch up on everything and now i'm suspicious you'll make me busy again.

11. - CheezeWhiz there are a lot of chemicals in plastic cheese....

12. - The SaskParty - what are they going to do to Fuck Up our province??

13. - People who are finished their Christmas Shopping by September...one word....Robots.

Now to Tag:

Paige Stanton
FourLeafClover
Teeni
Evil Pink CupCake - this is not a tag...more of...an opportunity to steal this meme. no pressure.
BugEyedEarl and Slyde - for the American Male Perspecitve
FunnyGirl
Melsie

Okay little ones, Go off and Feed your Paranoia!! it's a fun game, wait - what was that behind me? nothing? okay...What? did you see that? no? okay. ....okay.....