I'm not going to finish my novel.
8 pages in.
i know that it's not really that big of a deal - in the whole scheme of things, but - i really thought i could do this. Then life handed me a shit sangwhich, and i had to take a big old steamin' bite. So, some things have fallen to the wayside of my life. B-rad assures me that i have a valid excuse, but i really feel like i've let MYSELF down.
i want to keep working on it though. in my own time.
i am a horrible terrible blogger when i'm blogging on paper. I'm sorry. This was another instance where my life was bigger and fuller than i had anticipated. There were a few moments when i thought to throw in the NABLOPOMO towel and save my sanity. I hate it that my posting has sucked balls lately - and not in a 'fun' way. Gr. I want to dazzle you all with my brilliance and my wit, but i know that that isn't really possible right now.
but life goes on. and a shitty post is still a post. I feel that if i can't to the novel, i'm going to try my damndest to post everyday.
and i know, i've been going on and on about the break in, and the loss of my stuff (FIONA!!) but dammit, that was MY Fucking stuff. and i really miss my laptop. a lot. like, i probably shouldn't miss a piece of electronics this much but i do, and i feel like a big ol' nerd for missing it. it was so easy for me to pick it up and write when the mood struck me. i took it for granted, that luxery. Now, blogging is an effort - what the fuck? it's true though. and by the time i get down to the computer the motivation is gone.
wahh wahh wahh.
Seriously.... is this month long blogging worth all these shitty posts??
sigh.
maybe tomorrow will be easier.
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6 people love me:
your posts are never shitty. it tells us you are alive - if not all that well. we love you babycakes. it will get better.
Just give it some time and everything will go back to normal. I agree with Wench, your posts are never shitty.
Sorry about the novel.... if it's any help, all my big plans for myself have also fallen by the wayside. Life is big and it swallows all your plans for yourself up and spits you out to figure out what you do now.
I am sending giant happy - feel better - fuzzy - warm thoughts your way!!
Your posts aren't shitty but you have sure had some shitty days lately. I know what you mean about the attachment with your laptop, Fiona. It's hard to be suddenly without the interface you set up yourself, for yourself to work in your own space. Then you feel guilty for feeling so dependent on it. Well, that is okay - it's not like you were giving up your real life, your marriage or your job for it so that proves it wasn't too unhealthy! It is totally understandable and I think all your readers would feel the same way if it happened to us. So don't feel bad about the way you are feeling. You have entertained us all so much that we would allow you to bitch for weeks if we had to. ;) And we'd still come back for more!
Sorry about your novel, but in some ways it's better for you to do it in your own time and not be rushed through it.
As for the daily posting, somedays I am struggling with this daily posting. Some days I just don't feel up to posting but end up doing it anyways since I committed to it.
I don't think I've ever felt that you had a shitty post!! You make blogging fun and entertaining! I enjoy your posts, no matter how short or long they are!
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