TT#7 - The Sally Ann

After posting 13 things about Growing up Mormon my friend Fourleafclover emailed me and said she found my list to be very informative and that she wondered if she could come up with 13 things about the religion she grew up in...

She did.

So, with out further adieu, here is her list - written from her point of view (a la copy and paste from her email) and posted with her kind permission:

Thirteen Things about The Salvation Army 1. - The Salvation Army has always been an institution that’s all about the music – particularly brass instruments. Being a woodwind player this always left me feeling a little out of the loop since they only have Brass Bands. Why have just brass when the whole range of strings, brass, woodwinds and percussion sounds so much better, in my humble opinion? After some Wiki-ing I found out that historically the band served as the bodyguards/distraction for the missionaries. The church officers would go do their thing and the band would play nearby. “Look – a band!” folks would say in the late 1890’s instead of “Look – there are those uppity-Methodist types doing another salvation march. Let’s throw rats at them.” 2. - The Salvation Army has a youth program for the young’uns in the church to become Junior Soldiers. This starts you on the path to becoming an officer in the Salvation Army. After a certain allotment of hours in summer youth programs I was offered a spot as a Junior Solider. I turned it down. I don’t mind my church – I just don’t have that level of commitment. 3. - Historically the Salvation Army started as a church that ministered to dregs of society, prostitutes, alcoholics and addicts. (They were detested by The Church of England and other polite society Christians as a result) They still do the street level ministering. Soup kitchens, outreach centers, etc. They always preached against the evils of gambling and alcohol and it’s use is prohibited by Sally Ann officers. 4. - Now people have always loved their alcohol and this preaching against the consumption of it resulted in a major late 1800’s backlash against them in the form of a group called “The Skeleton Army”. They don’t exist anymore but they use to make a point of showing up wherever the Sally Ann officers where going to be “doing their thing” to tar and feather them. Or throw stones and rats at them. Or rip their uniforms. Or in a few cases fatally beat them. Anti-Sally Ann sentiment faded as soon after the Army became known for its disaster relief efforts. 5. - They do this fundraising thing for missionary work called Self-Denial. It’s sort of like the Salvation Army’s version of Lent. I must confess that I’ve never gone through the Self Denial process so I don’t know how denying yourself something equals fundraising but they always had one of those big thermometer posters hung out where you fill it in with a red sharpie to indicate how much money was raised. I never really participated in Self Denial. 6. - When I was little I was in the Salvation Army’s Singing Company. That’s what it was called – The Singing Company. We put on musicals that were fairly glitzy for a church production, with giant props, costume changes, set changes, dance moves and a man dressed up as a giant Hymn book. Remember that song that the Flanders family sang to Homer (that he tried to run away from?) “God said to Noah… there’s going to be a floody-floody! Get those animals up on the arky-arky!” We sang that! We had a giant cardboard ark with floating animal heads on sticks behind it and everything! 7. - Apparently only Canadians affectionately refer to the Army as “Sally Ann”. I wonder where that came from….? It’s neat that they’ve finally embraced it – now they’re just calling their stores “Sally Ann”. My Mom and I always called the community living charity receptacles “Sally Ann Bins”. 8. - Ah….. Sally Ann thrift stores. Thrift store shopping is great and I’m proud that I have even a loose association with a church that does the thrift store thing. Better than Value Village but not as good as your local small-town Mennonite thrift store. 9. - I’m not sure how often the officers in the army have to move around but we never kept a set of Majors more than four years… I think. Then, as a Salvation Army Major or Captain – you get moved to another congregation somewhere in the country. My mother hated it when her favorite Major was shipped out to Vancouver . He helped council her through a particularly hard time after my cousin snapped, robbed a bank then committed suicide. I can still remember his answer after my mother asked him if my cousin was going to hell. “No he won’t because that wasn’t really him.” Maybe I’m clinging to semantics but I always like to think of that as true. 10. - When Hubby and I got married by the current Captains – we had to go to their house once a week for “marriage training” but I don’t think that’s particularly unusual to the Salvation Army. We had lived together for two years prior to marriage so the training was moot and we got fast-tracked through the course. 11. - I must confess I always found the designation of “Major”, “Captain” and the like to be a little odd. I understand the link between basing your organization off of an armed forces template to be at war with the evils of the world, onward Christian soldiers and all that but still….. Jesus wasn’t about war, was he? 12. - When I was little I had an argument with my best friend about wine and wafers. She maintained that I didn’t go to a “real” church because we didn’t drink the blood and eat the body of Christ. I responded back with “That’s because we have a lot of alcoholics in the congregation and we don’t drink the wine out of respect for them.” She rolled her eyes and said “Use grape juice like you’re supposed to!” I found out, much later of course, that Sally Ann doesn’t do the communion as they felt (upon conception of the organization) that people had become more devoted to rituals than to their faith. I gotta say, even tho’ I’m not into religious organizations – they’ve got a pretty good argument going there. 13. - Lastly, I have found them to be nothing but nice folk in general. I go to church so seldom and they don’t push it. I don’t get phone calls telling me about the latest church picnic, I don’t get visits masquerading as friendly reminders to come to church sometime. They just leave me be and let me come when I’m good and ready. Despite the fact that I haven’t been there for a long time, they through me a really nice baby shower. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! Add your name to the Linkey Machine... but don't forget to leave me the love in the comments!!