i fear for mankind....

Question:

When did THIS:

become sexy again??

I raise this question because i am rather disturbed. Mustaches seem to be appearing on men at an alarming rate! Wasn't there a law passed in 1992 saying that never again would the populace be tormented by the "soup strainer"?

i began to take serious notice when the Killers played Saturday Night Live. Dane Cook was hosting, and did a great job by-the-by, i noticed something wrong with Singer Brandon Flower's face. i mean, usually the guy's a pretty boy and all metro sexual like... but he looked like a lumberjack, and that was NOT okay. Moreover, he was sporting the "new Sexy 'Stache'" seen here:

To tell the truth, it looks creepy. there is nothing "sexy" about it. it looks like something that belongs on Alex Trebek, or maybe Weird Al - but even they both got wise eventually and ditched the face do.

i don't even remember how they played that night. I was so utterly distracted by the business all over his top lip that music was the last thing on my mind.

i turned to my friend, Lorenne, and said: "what the POOP is on that guy's face!" it filled me with a sense of dread for the future of mankind as we know it. or at the very least worry that this little Dirty Sanchez is going to pick up.

in my naivete i thought/hoped this would be an isolated incident. these dreams were shattered when in my channel flipping last eve'n i stumbled across CSI: Vegas, my most favourite of CSI, if only for Nick and Burke. You can imagine my surprise when super hottie Nick Stokes was sporting.... you guessed it.... a mustache!!

Oh my Lord in Heaven! I mean, seriously, how can he be expected to be taken seriously as a Cop, or even an actor who plays a Cop on TV, with that grotesqueness. You can't be a big macho hottie with a mustache. what was he thinking?? you could even see in his scenes with co-csi Sarah that even his peers think he looks ri-frikkin-diculous!

Now, i'm not saying that all facial hair is bad. I don't mind a goatee, and i find 5:00 shadow on some men (like my Boyfriend Dr. Greg House) quite sexy. I'd even be okay with handlebar mustaches that connect to the "chinstrap" beard a la James Hetfield of Metalica, but a loner mustache? it's just...OUT there!! hanging out, doing nothing, going nowhere... a facial hair misfit with no purpose other than to be a dark smudge on the oil painting of mankind!!

I tell you, people, this is not a good thing for society. if men keep getting the idea that it's okay for them to grow mustaches the world will hurl itself blindly into chaos. CHAOS!!!!! fear it.

i know i do.

Spread the word.

Mustaches are NOT okay.

i don't want this man ending up Number one on People's 50 Sexiest Men.