headspace

Last night i sat in my room with my iPod and wrote and wrote and wrote. It seemed as if i couldn't move the pen fast enough to capture everything that was coming out of me.

I know there was much lost to that fact.

I headed in a downward spiral.

I wanted to pull out, but didn't know how.

I switched mediums and began to sketch, and all that i could do was draw angels, fallen angels, angry angels, with huge unforgiving wings... and storms and bitterness and frustration...

How did i get here? what brought me this far?

---

He stepped in the room and turned the light on.

I said: "i don't know what's wrong. i'm in a weird head space. I can't figure it out."

He said: "...i'm going to go play with the cat"

I said: "no, Stay!"

he said: "But i'm gonna go play with the cat!"

i said: "i want you to stay."

he said: "But Kozmo wants me to play with him."

he turned off the light.

he left me.

in the darkness that i had already created, and i was left with my weird head space, my dreams of dark angels.

i don't blame him. i'm not angry.

just dissillusioned. i asked him to stay. twice. but he left me alone in the dark.

Now the question is - how do i get out of this headspace?