oh man,

i just told Chewie that if he did not lay down on the couch and close his eyes, i would call Santa and tell him to take all his toys to someone else.

result? Three year old - who NEVER naps... snoring on the couch.

I wish this calling Santa thing could last all year...

Back in time

If you could go back in time to any era, for one week, where would you go?

I'm not sure I could pin it down. There are so many interesting periods. Possibly I'd like to visit San Fransico in the mid sixties. Or maybe the late fifties early sixties in New York City. Is it terrible to choose a time frame based on fashion? Probably.

Whenever I think of these types of questions, I'm always forced to think of the time period I'd like to visit, then I ponder he status of women in that time frame... Inevitably I always come back to the mid-sixties. The world was changing, the music was awesome, women were finding their voices, free love, mind altering drugs were experimented with before the knowledge of "flashbacks".... I think being a flower child would have suited me. As much as I would live to visit ancient Egypt or 15th century England, the idea of being a slave or a man's property or having no rights and being not much more than a walking baby factory, a week might be a tad much. Give me free love in the sixties.

What about you?

RANT!! in G Minor

Just now, in my facebook feed... i saw this posted as someone's status and i just had to drop everything:

HEY YOU... yeah, I mean you. If you have taken a minute to read this... God has seen YOU struggling with something. God says its over. A blessing is coming your way. If you believe in God send this message on, please don't ignore it, you are being tested. God is going to fix two things (BIG) tonight in your favor. If you believe in God... drop everything and repost.**

my initial response was to write some big OHMYFUCKINGOD response... but then i was like, no... no... i can't do that.  not on facebook.  i mean, i really don't want to offend anyone, but i CANNOT TELL YOU how much i was offended by this.

first of all.... "God has seen YOU struggling with something.  God says it's over"... Great! so, what you're saying is, if i drop everything and repost this, God is going to magically go in with his 'magic' and repair all of Artoo's damaged cranial nerves?  If i drop everything and repost this, will Artoo suddenly learn how to smile?  "...please don't ignore it, you are being tested..."  Really? REALLY?!? REEEEEAAAALLLY???? God is testing me, through facebook.  Really.  With Seth and Amy.  Really. FUCKING REALLY!??  God is going to fix two big things tonight in my favour.... wow. 


I really am not a big fan of those copy/paste status updates in general, you know the ones... with some random statistic about the percentage of people who know someone with (Insert disease/condition here) and how if you want to end said disease/condition, copy and paste to your status update, and if you don't, that obviously means you are a terrible person, cuz clearly you must like this disease and hope people continue to suffer.  ENOUGH, they make me crazy, but this one takes the goddamned cake.  

Does anyone honestly believe that God will make all their problems go away because they copied and pasted some random bullshit that they saw on someone elses wall?  For Fuck sake.  Or is it the oh-so-ominous: "IF you believe in God send this message on" that makes them think, "well, i don't want someone to think i DON'T believe!!"  or perhaps the veiled threat of: "YOU ARE BEING TESTED" and maybe they're making sure that their bases are covered.

Also, this totally preys on peoples emotions... "oh my god... I AM going through something!! This status is for me!!!" 


well.


i'll tell you one thing.


posting some prepackaged shit you saw somewhere else is not going to get salvation. 
if i'm being tested by facebook, i hate to think what the hell all this other shit i'm going through is for...


God doesn't care. 


if God exists at all (which i'm not entirely certain about, at least, not in the way that western christianized culture would have us believe...even more so now that i'm dealing with Artoo's health), i don't think that he's some grandpa in the sky who's sitting at his laptop checking to see if Johnny DoGooder passed his test by posting that 'status' on his wall.

Ranty rant rant rant.
This is why i have a blog. sigh.

i'm sorry.  but that really bummed me out today.  super bummed.

Also, if you're going to leave me some kind of preachy comment, don't bother. you're not going to convert me, just saying.

**I should clarify that it was the pre-written update itself that made me crazy, not the person who posted it.  

my blog had a birthday

Happy 9th birthday bloggity blog.
NINE YEARS!?!?

oh my.

Hey, if any of you have been reading since the beginning, holy crap! you are loyal.

and i love you.
I love this blog too.  sorry, this blog has some serious neglected older child syndrome. 

thanks for sticking it out, interwebs.
Love Laura

it's 2 am.

quite frankly, i have not been up at 2 am for some time.

it sucks.

eff you, 2 am.

Artoo decided he needed a midnight snack, once he was back in bed Chewie started crying - i walked into his room, he said: "Mama, i'm sad. I'm sad because, i did a bad dream." so, we cuddled in his bed and he went back to sleep.

me? i have this 'feeling' in my gut.  i don't know what it is.  but i can't get back to sleep.  My hands and feet are swollen, i drank a glass of water.

the house is too quite.  sitting in the darkened kitchen, i can hear the wind outside the patio doors, a dog is barking somewhere.
my quiet crescent is full of sleeping people, and i'm pretty insanely jealous.
sigh.

A. Age: 31
B. Bed size: Queen, big enough to be comfy - small enough to be close
C. Chore that you hate: dishes, the kitchen in general.
D. Dogs: not really a dog person, although i assume that we'll get one as the boys get older.  Preferably, i'd like an older dog that's already trained.
E. Essential start to your day: Coffee.  plain and simple.
F. Favorite color: Purple and Blue, also brown... and green, and orange, and red... essentially all colours except yellow. i'm not WILD about yellow.
G. Gold or Silver: white gold or silver
H. Height: 5'5"
I. Instruments you play: guitar, clarinet, piano, although none of them particularly well
J. Job title: stay-at-home mama, housewife, writer/blogger.
K. Kids: Two great little boys
L. Live: The Skatch
M. Mother’s name: Diana
N. Nicknames: Diva
O. Overnight hospital stays: Several - for various surgeries, and child births, and Artoo hospitalizations
P. Pet peeves: passive-aggressiveness and people who don't signal when they're driving
Q. Quote from a movie: and in the end, you turned into a great big fish.
R. Right or left handed: Right handed.
S. Siblings: one older brother, two younger brothers
U. Underwear: full bum, low waist, bikini cut. 
V. Vegetable you hate: uhm, eggplant? but i've never really given it a try...
W. What makes you run late: two boys
X. X-Rays you’ve had: face for nose break, arm for arm break, gastro for gall stones
Y. Yummy food that you make: salads, various tasty salads
Z. Zoo animal: Panda

Seven Year Itch

i've stood over a train grate, and that hot air smells like ass.

So, last week B-rad and i celebrated our seven year anniversary...  Artoo had just come home that day from a 5 day stay in the hospital, so needless to say... i was pretty tired.

How did we spend our time together? well, we put the kids to bed... then... i slipped into something a little more...comfortable.... like yoga pants and a bunny hug (or hoodie, if you rather).... and we played a game of scrabble.  and i won.

Then i was tired.

So we went to bed.

Perhaps that's not the best way to stave off the seven year itch... i probably should have had some kind of silky underthings under my yoga pants, and we probably should have rocked each others' worlds in the sack....  probably....

Honestly, where did the time go?  I never really think about time, it's so abstract... until i think things like - Chewie is three... and we've lived in this house for almost 5 years...

i saw a pin on pinterest that said: "I still think that 1991 was ten years ago"  yeah... totally!  that's me.

So, the seven year itch... this is the psychological phenomenon wherein the fire goes out in the marriage and boredom sets in.  Does the seven year itch only take into account the years of actual married life? Because B-rad and i have been together for 13 years, give or take.  So, by those standards, our seven year itch would have been during our first year of marriage.  WIN!

I've been told that B-rad and i have a great relationship.  It's true though.  I mean, our marriage is by no stretch of the imagination, perfect.  but pretty damn near.

I'm not one to give advice very often... but here's a totally arbitrary list of things that have made our marriage awesome:

1.) if at all possible, try to do a long distance relationship before getting married.  B-rad and i did this for 2 years.  As much as it sucked, it was probably one of the best things for our relationship.  By only communicating by phone and email (this was the dark ages before Facebook, or Skype, or FaceTime for iPhones...) we really had to actually talk.  It was all we could do.  That, and the phone sex.  Lots and lots of phone sex.  (Man, where was the FaceTime for iPhone then!!??)  We really got to know each other in those two years, and it also helped us build our communications skills.

2.) Marry your best friend.  Yeah.  Cliche, i know, but cliche for a reason.  Granted, B-rad was not my best friend when started dating, but by the time i knew we were supposed to be together forever he was.  And still is.

3.) Inside Jokes.  Honestly, inside jokes are one of the corner stones of our relationship.  Sometimes it feels like we are speaking in some crazy elaborate code, because at any given time - one of us will say or do something that will trigger the other to response... be it movie lines, song lyrics, or just something that one of us did one day that the other one of us ran with, and now it's something we do all the time....  That "secret code" of inside jokes is very intimate.  It's like, a reminder in the middle of the day that B-rad gets me and i get him.

4.) Share your fantasies.  Everyone has 'em.  I mean, even the ones that you think that make you a creepster.  If you are in a loving and trusting relationship, then share.  It has made our sex life phenomenal, and also - it's kind of nice to know that he trusts you enough to share EVERYTHING that makes him tick... y'know, more than just a blow job... allllll of it.... and it's nice for me to be able to share what gets my rocks off.  Cuz, i mean, i'm a creative girl... sometimes my fantasies are a little...creative.  and he's okay with that.  and he gets into that.  and WE get into that.

5.) Let the guy watch porn.  honestly. lift the taboo. they're going to do it anyway, why make them feel guilty for it?  I realize that this can be a very touchy subject... but if you can find a way to get past the porn (if it's an issue for you) you should really try.  Why not see if you can find something to watch together? or buy an issue of Penthouse letters when you have a long car ride ahead of you (hopefully without kids in the back seat) and surprise him by reading to him while he drives.  Or write him your own penthouse letter, and completely lay out your fantasies... i guarantee it will be a well read letter, and it will go into his spank bank... because maybe he IS watching porn, but he's likely imagining its YOU he's watching. 

6.) Sometimes, dudes go 'solo'....if you know what i mean.  Before you moved in together, he probably did it all the time, every night... so cut the guy some slack.  In my humble opinion, unless i'm willing to give it up every night, i'm willing to let him blow off some steam on his own.  This, of course, is also true for me... y'know, sometimes i wanna just rub one out quickly... ;)

7.) Laugh.  Often.

8.) Share your interests - get interested in what he's interested in, and he should get interested in what you're interested in.  I'm not saying you should learn how to rebuild cars or anything, but at least pay attention when he's talking about it.  Likewise, he doesn't have to learn all the words to "The Music of the Night" but he should come with you to see the show when it's in town.

9.) Hold on to your self.  The YOU that he fell in love with.  Your role as a wife, partner, mother, caregiver, hommaker, breadwinner, etc., are all aspects of you but the core YOU is still in there.  Make sure that you find time to stay yourself.  Do things for yourself.  That YOU like to do.  On your own.  Likewise, let him keep the HIM that you fell in love with.

10.) Whenever possible - remember to make out.  Like you did before you were sleeping together.  B-rad and i, as you may imagine, don't have a lot of the 'free time' that we used to have... but we try to get in a good make out session every once in a while... like, remember when you were in high school dating.... and you're watching TV with your boyfriend and your little brother runs upstairs to get a drink and you know you have, like, at least 2 minutes of smooch time before he comes back and starts talking about The Legend of Zelda?? that.  It's hot.  and it's awesome.  and sometimes, we only have 2 minutes.  But they are a SOLID two minutes.

So, there you have it.  10 Golden rules that have helped B-rad and i make it passed the 7 year mark.