Closed Eyes - Self Portrait...

Kissing

I was 12 - going on 13 (going on 30) when i first saw it.  

Where i grew up in my small town in B.C., i went to a country school from Grades 3-6, then i was bussed into the town for Grade 7 before moving up to the 'big leagues' of the local high school in Grade 8.

It was early September, and i remember wandering through the enormous (to me) High School library over lunch - mostly hiding out because i wasn't one of the popular kids who hung out in their cliques and i wasn't one of the bad kids who hung out in the back parking lot smoking cigarettes...  i was just me.  Shy, awkward, uncertain, terrible at making conversation... so i retreated to the quiet safety of the library.

I was sitting in the big yellow chair next to the magazine rack, leafing through magazines waiting for the bell to ring so i'd at least be able to go to my next class and get the day over with. 

I don't remember what magazine i was looking at, but suddenly in the bottom left corner was this piece of art.  I sat there looking at it, the bright colours, the intensity, the eternity symbols and flames combining the two lovers at the heart and the mind... and i remember thinking: "I would give anything for someone to kiss me like that."

I was mesmerized.  

I took the magazine to the huge cream coloured Xerox copier in the corner by the sign out desk and made a terrible black and white, grainy copy and slipped it into my binder as the bell rang and went off to class.

I hung it in my locker.

I looked at it every day.

I was entranced by the art, not fully knowing why.  I had no idea who had created it, i had no idea where to even begin to look.  

When school ended that year, i carefully peeled it from my locker and took it home and hung it on my wall where it stayed until my dad announced that summer that he was packing us up and moving us to The Skatch.

When i was unpacking my new room, i found the grainy photocopy - and i hung it on my new wall in my new room - next to the light switch where i would see it every day.  Still thinking: "If only someone would kiss me like that."  

Years went by, i found my way in my new school - made some great friends, even dabbled in love... but still never found that amazing kiss...

You know where this is going, right??

B-rad and i had a very rocky dating history.  But since the first time we kissed in the ninth grade, i compared every other kiss in my life to his.  

As our relationship grew after high school, and we became more and more interconnected, i realized; HE made me feel on fire, HE made me feel connected... He made me feel like the woman in the painting.

In my first year of University - I moved out of my parents house into an apartment in the city with my soon-to-be sister-in-law... sadly, the worn photocopy did not come with me.  

at this time, B-rad was just getting into TOOL and was pushing his music on me, as he does.  And as i do, i resisted - until i started listening to A Perfect Circle and fell in love with my Boyfriend Maynard.   

In 2001 TOOL released their 3rd studio Album Lateralus which heavily featured the artwork of one Alex Grey. 

I looked at the intense inside booklet, which was designed like those old anatomy text books with the clear sheets overlapping showing each section of the body, only every level got deeper on a more spiritual level.

There was something familiar about the style.  I didn't grasp it at first... and just left it alone. 

Then one day i spent some time on the Alex Grey website looking at some of the artwork, likely shopping for gifts for B-rad... and i saw it. 

 

Kissing, Alex Grey, 1983

oil on linen, 66 x 44 inches

I couldn't believe that after 10 years, i would be led back to this piece.  I immediately showed B-rad and told him about the magazine, the photo copy, the dream that someday someone would kiss me like that - and how that someone was him.

It felt like a miracle to me.  Of all the artists in the world throughout history, i never thought i would ever know who had created the piece that meant so much to me through my formative years. 

That year B-rad surprised me and ordered the print of Kissing for me for Valentine's Day.  We were newly weds.

It is framed, and it hangs over our bed, where he kisses me - and makes me feel that love, that passion, that intense connection that i longed for from the age of 13.   I'm still amazed at the journey that that painting has made with me.  I look at it, and now i say: "I'm so glad that HE kisses me like that."

Kissing, without a doubt, is my favourite work of art.

30 random things...

ecause no one really wants to read 30 random-ass facts about a random-ass person...

Boredom is quite the killer isn't it?

Also, if you don't know what to do when you're tagged in this, it's easy: Write 30 facts about yourself and then tag some people. Easy, eh? (except i'm not tagging anyone)

1.  I used to kick some serious ass in guitar hero... and then i had a baby.  i doubt i'd be able to pass on HARD now...

2.  I am writing a novel, slowly.

3.  I sometimes dream about being a morning person, like those people i see in Starbucks - just sitting around chatting, drinking coffee with no apparent place to be... then i remember that i love sleeping, and will probably never be a morning person.

4.  In the Sexy Vampire war, i'm Team Eric all the way.  Twilight Vampires are harlequin romance for 12 year old girls, which is fine if that's all your expecting... Give me Eric/Bill/Sam any day.

5.  I've forgotten how fun it is to colour with Crayons.  Thanks Chewie!

6.  I feel like there needs to be at least six of me to get everything i want out of life... i want it all and i want it right now. 

7.  My hips are double jointed!  but not in any way that makes it fun in the Boudoir...  :(

8.  While most days i'm pretty cool with how my body looks, sometimes i think i'd like to be size six...with A cups... GASP!

9.  I think my best feature is my eyes... and my eyebrows are pretty kick ass too.

10. I am debating getting a sleeve tattoo... i think tattoos are hot.

11. My husband is going to Vancouver in December to see Roger Waters do "The Wall" in concert... and while i am super happy for him - i am uber jealous and may cry when he leaves.  :(  (sorry honey!)

12. I have read the book "Lamb: The Gospel According Biff, Christs' Childhood Pal" about 5 times.  It's one of the only books to ever make me laugh out loud. 

13. I'm pretty easy going, but have practically ZERO tolerance or room in my life for close mindedness.  The world is too big and too beautiful and too full of wonder to conform to whatever box you're stuck in. *gets down off soapbox*

14. I love autumn because i love sweaters and scarves and warm drinks.

15. I want to visit Lillydale, NY.  

16. I don't really care for the colour Yellow.

17. I have never chewed my nails (can't get over the idea of germs under them to put them in my mouth) but i am a chronic hangnail/cuticle  picker/ripper/cutter...

18. Generally speaking, i get along better with guys than girls... but i did grow up in a house full of boys. 

19. I am a Taurus, and i put a lot of stock into people's astrological signs.  Not so much what the horoscope predictions say, but more what personality traits are generally associated with signs. 

20. I am a spiritual being, but i don't believe in Religion as a means to live spiritually.  If that works for you, that's cool... but the minute you start preaching is the minute i lose interest/respect for you.  Your way is what works for you, it is not the ONLY way.

21. When i was about 3 i got one of those Giant Barbie heads for Christmas, the ones you can practice doing hair and make up on... anyway, i remember dropping the sponge eye shadow applicator down the heat register in the upstairs hallway Christmas Day - and i felt so guilty that Santa brought this toy JUST FOR ME and i already wrecked it... i cried.  I also was terrified of the monster in the furnace who was surely eating my sponge eye shadow applicator.  This memory has haunted me for years.  It is the farthest back i can remember.  Nice first memory, Laura.

22. The house where i spent my formative Teenage years was haunted.  Now its a big hole in the ground, i think they guy that bought it is turning it into a car dealership.  I hope the spirits found their way somewhere... if not - don't buy a car from there!

23. Things like random flying shoes, footsteps overhead (through walls), names being said when there's no one home, Visions of dark figures at the foot of the bed, the feeling of a dark heavy presence in my bedroom, crying babies, laughing six year olds... all these things and more - happened in my haunted house. 

24. My current house is not haunted.  Instead, it flooded and it's currently in a state of repair.  But progress is happening!

25. I like dress up parties.  as in, costumes - not fancy dress...

26. I have been blogging for almost seven years. 

27. I have kept a journal for the most part since i was 10 years old.

28. Even though i had a pretty good time in high school, you couldn't pay me to ever go back.

29. My favourite number is 27.

30. My favourite yoga position is Downward Facing Dog.

spaced out

Last week B-rad and i had the week off from work, so we spent quite a bit of that time working on the house - finishing up the paint in the rumpus room where we had flood damage, heading to the store time and time again to look at carpet samples, pick up more supplies, get some brain storming ideas...

it's hard to believe that we're actually getting somewhat closer to being finished... well... there's still a LONG way to go - especially in the basement where B-rad ripped down walls and is now re-framing our office/den.  I'm constantly amazed at how smart he is, cuz if i was doing this all by myself - i think our house would fall down. ha!

anyway, we did take one day off during the week when the weather was nice, and took our little family out to Pike Lake to play in the water.  It sure wasn't the vacation we were thinking we'd have when we booked the time off at the beginning of the year, but i think we got a lot accomplished.  And our new office/den will be kick ass!

must try to remember to take some pictures... i'm already kicking myself that i didn't take a before picture.

ah well.

So, i'm back at work now - and while i catch up on work emails - check out this awesome video of the Skies in the Skatch.  One of our provincial logos is "Land of the Living Skies" and i think after watching this, you'll see why.  Go SKATCH!


Land of Living Skies from Two Brothers Films on Vimeo.

The last day in Boston

Teeni, TGH, and I spent my last day in Massachusetts wandering around Hah-vahd Yahd and Boston.
This meant that i got to ride on my very first Subway.  I mean, there are trains and stuff in Canada... not in the Skatch, but in Calgary i used to ride the C-Train, which was, i guess, a subway - for all intents and purposes.

They picked me up from the hotel and we drove to station and rode the rest of the way in.  When we arrived in Cambridge we wandered the grounds of Harvard University.  I had my picture taken with John Harvard, rubbing his toe for good luck...

Harvard is a very beautiful campus.  If only i had any desire to excel in school.  ha!  The buildings were beautiful and the grounds were exquisite!  Here i am, looking saucy by a fountain!

The more we wandered around, the more we realized that it must have been Graduation day!  There were hundreds of chairs set up in one of the courtyards, and there were miscellaneous tents set up around campus.  I took a bunch of pictures of ivy and buildings, and also the iron work on the fences, the patterns i saw all around me.  I'm sure they thought i was a looney, but what can i say? I had just spent a bunch of days learning about repetitive patterns.  ;)

We took a subway a few stops down and walked past THIS building at M.I.T., mostly because i wanted to take a picture of it to show B-rad when i got home.  It's a crazy, zany building. 

More walking and a quick lunch before we found our way back to the trains and rode into Boston and meandered through a most beautiful park.  We really had no plans, other than walking.  And that was just fine!  The weather was gorgeous, the company was FABULOUS... and the Giant Park Pretzels?? Not so great.  I did, however, buy a bag of roasted nuts from this vendor, which made up for the awfulness of the giant pretzel. 

After a long hot day in the sun, and some light shopping and a GIANT comic book store, and a picture at CHEERS - i was ready to call it a day.  So we headed back to the trains and rode back to the car - and TGH and i had a good private moment when this big burly Bostonian who made and sold crocheted hats said to a random passenger: "Man, it's wicked hot out today!" 

THRILL!

See, TGH and i had been talking about Boston-speak, and how everything is wicked... so to see it in real life action was pretty awesome.   And funny.  And i'm glad i got to share that with Teeni's hilarious Hubby... (we have very similar senses of humour, it was a fun time!)

For supper we dined at a lovely Italian restaurant that was in another state!  I don't remember which one, though.  It's so very odd for me to think about driving in and out of state-limits just to go shopping, or to have dinner.  In Canada - the Provinces are very very big.  Like, it probably takes a good 14 hours to drive across The Skatch from Alberta to Manitoba. 

Anyway, those JERKS that i was hanging out with would NOT let me pay for supper... and AFTER THAT they ordered me birthday cake!  (THE NERVE!!) which was tasty, but also embarrassing.  Honestly, why do they do that in restaurants?  It's some sort of cruel prank...here's some cake but FIRST we shall SING HORRIBLY to you! grrr.... just kidding, i love you guys.

Back to the hotel for my last night in the U. S. of A....
and in the morning, we met one last time for coffee at Dunkin' Donuts - and took one of the only pictures of Teeni and i together.  I was super excited to be heading home, missing my man and my baby like crazy, but i had such a great time really getting to know Teeni and her husband - (Teeni, by the way, can curse like a sailor! I was SHOCKED!! hee hee)

 
In the past, Teeni and i have joked in emails about being sisters from different families.  I think it must be true.  We must have known each other in a previous life, because being with her was so easy and familiar and not at all scary or intimidating (i'm super shy, i know - hard to imagine, but it's true) and they were both so welcoming from the second i landed to the second i left.  My family on the East Coast.  Love you both!  Thanks for the memories... hugs and kisses.

update, schmupdate

psst... hello?

is this thing on??

I am NOT at BlogHer.  Are you?

Summer = hard to get into the blogging spirit.  All i want to do is sit in the sun with a good book - bleh.

Also, there's not much to report - B-rad is slowly but surely getting the basement fixed, which is very exciting.  I am continuing to get as big as the house we're fixing, cooking a baby is hard work, even more so when toddler-wrangling. 

Every day is a new ache or pain, i currently have a little fetus bum trying to escape from the right side of my belly.

Artoo is a ninja baby - and by ninja i mean, he is Stealthy and is hard to be felt on the outside, a complete switcheroo from Chewie who was always up front and centre and kicking for anyone who put their hand on my buddha belly. 

Summer is almost over - even the nights are getting cooler and the leaves on my georgia creeper are starting to turn red... eep!

Our backyard is a frikkin' jungle, man.  I can count, on one hand, how many times we've been out there this year, because of the flood we lost our lawn mower and we haven't replaced it yet, so the grass is a foot high and the mosquitoes have morphed into SuperMosquitoes and they love to prey on Chewie's supple and tasty baby flesh.  No amount of repellent works on them, they're immune.  A new super race.... vampire bugs.

but the upside is that it's stopped raining, mostly.  (knock on wood)  and we've actually had some warm days... and as i type this i can feel my hands swelling...  so it's time to go have a big ol' litre of water.

hope everything's well in your parts of the blog world.

cheers.

20 weeks??

Holy cow, i'm already 20 weeks pregnant... that's halfway people!!

Incidentally, we are finding out the sex of the baby this Thursday!  Do you think it's a BOY or a GIRL??
Go here to cast your vote

also, i will try to post some kind of preggo belly photo in the future.